Filthy Rich (1982–1983)

Michael Lombard: Marshall Beck

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Kathleen : Y'all can snap at me all you want, but just remember, you'll never cheat me out of my inheritance.

  Marshall : Now, Kathleen, why would we want to do that? After all, you gave Daddy ten of the best months of your life. Certainly ought to be worth thirty or forty million.

• Kathleen : I worked too hard to get where I am.

  Marshall : Yeah, pulled yourself up by your bra-straps.

• Carlotta : Marshall, will you stop that incessant wheezing?

  Marshall : Carlotta, I happen to have asthma.

  Carlotta : Well, have it somewhere else, I'm talkin'!

• Carlotta : We did let Bootsie and Wild Bill move in and they did tell George how nicely we've treated them.

  Marshall : Of course, there was that incident with the broken cellar stair, the fallen chandelier and that ugly bout with botulism.

• Marshall : Well, my father was not a sentimental man, so I'll just say this. Here's to Big Guy Beck. He lived for better or for worse, but he's dead for good.

• Mother B. : Bootsie, do you know "Spread Your Tiny Things and Fly Away?"

  Stanley : It's "Wings," Mama.

  Marshall : She's always one word off!

  [The family finishes singing the "Happy Birthday Song"] 

  Mother B : Alright, everybody rub my bottom and make a wish!

• [Marshall holds up an egg] 

  Marshall : How do you get these open?

• Carlotta : Kathleen, dear, I suggest you stay out of this or I will verbally annihilate you. I will cut you off at the knees. I will take that two-cent accent and perfectly coiffed hairdo and stuff it down your demurely concealed, but nevertheless dime store cleavage!

  Marshall : You know, Carlotta, you would have made a great ranch foreman on Big Valley.

• Carlotta : Were you aware, Marshall, that there is no valet parking at K-Mart?

  Marshall : No, I wasn't.

  Carlotta : Then you also probably did not know that people look real stupid driving their own limousines!

• Marshall : Carlotta, is it my fault my daddy passed away and tied up all our money? Am I to be endlessly punished and unmercifully criticized because he's forced us to live with his illegitimate son and ten-cent wife?

  Carlotta : Yes, I want you hurt!

• Marshall : What is that, anyway?

  Carlotta : A Dukes of Hazzard belt-buckle. I don't know what got into me. Bootsie said it was the special of the day. Everyone was buying it; there was only one left. I became confused and forced it out of a small child's hand!

• Marshall : Carlotta, what do you want me to do, throw my own mother out in the street?

  Carlotta : Yes.

• Carlotta : Mother B. is totally unpredictable. There's no telling what she might do in front of that man.

  Marshall : Carlotta's right. She went to a political banquet and accused the governor of tryin' to steal a folding chair.

  Carlotta : Not to mention that time at the airport, she got a hold of a microphone and announced that TWA was out of toilet paper!

• Marshall : Oh, I'm just putting some vitamins in Mother's coffee. I don't like her color.

  Mother B : Well, I don't like yours either!

• Mother B : I always hated makin' love to Big Guy 'cause he insisted I say "cheese." I got so tired of that. "Cheese, cheese, cheese!"

  Marshall : Mother, you are confusing having sex with having your picture made.

  Mother B : Oh.

• Marshall : How do you know I'm not her type?

  Carlotta : Because Bootsie Westchester's taste in men ranges from King Kong to Lil' Abner and unfortunately you do not fall into that category!

• Carlotta : Marshall found the name and phone number of Big Guy's attorney in Bootsie's address book.

  Marshall : I couldn't help it. It was lyin' open in her purse.

• Carlotta : Mark my words, Stanley, you cannot go around giving away wealth to people who've never had it. It just makes 'em more greedy.

  Marshall : That's right. Like those people in the Salvation Army at Christmas time. You give one of 'em a nickel; on the next block will be another one shaking the same stupid bell.

• Marshall : Stanley, remember how when we were little, I was such a sickly child and you never wanted to play with me?

  Stanley : Marshall, it wasn't because you were sickly; it was because you were whiney.

• Marshall : Just keep smilin', Carlotta. Let it seem as though we're havin' the time of our lives.

  Carlotta : I am smilin', Marshall. Someday this nightmare will be over. You and I will have all the money and these people will be tied to mules, working in our fields.

• Marshall : Mother, I think you've had far too much to drink. Let's take this wine and put it over here 'til dessert.

  Mother B : Marshall, I have not had too much to drink. I know so because when I have had too much to drink, I throw up.