If You Could See What I Hear (1982)

R.H. Thomson: Will Sly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Policeman : [incredulously]  Your friend is blind?

  Will Sly : More or less, yeah.

  Policeman : Then why the hell is he driving?

  Will Sly : 'Cause he's the only one who's sober!

  [Tom does a backflip over the car] 

  Will Sly : See?

• Will Sly : He was saving his money to buy a braille bible, but instead he insisted on buying you these!

  [Will presents Mrs. Ruxton a handful of red roses] 

  Mrs. Ruxton : [stunned]  Oh, my! The O'Brien Red! Oh, but these are so expensive! You shouldn't have. Oh! I have a precious few of these in me own rose garden, you know...

  [Mrs. Ruxton has just realized that Will took the roses from her garden] 

• [Will and Tom are a convertible, and it's raining] 

  Will Sly : I figured for ten weeks of sun, surf, and sex, we wouldn't need a top.

  Tom Sullivan : Well, if the surf and the sex are as good as the sun, we're in big trouble.

• Will Sly : God, his kind can really sing, huh?

  [while Tom is performing] 

  Bert : Yeah, but they make lousy astronomers.

• Will Sly : [walks into Tom's room, where the light is off]  Sullivan, you pervert, it's pitch black in here.

  [he switches on the light] 

  Tom Sullivan : I got news for you, Sly. It's still pitch black in here.

  Will Sly : It's not nice to make fun of sighted people. I'm liable to go through your closet and mix all your solids and checks, and then where would you be? You'd be a walking billboard for bad taste, that's where you'd be!

• Will Sly : Time to think about getting a new guide dog. I'm off tomorrow.

  Tom Sullivan : It's tomorrow already? Jesus, what happened? We were...

  Will Sly : They should make calendars in Braille. They really should.

• Mrs. Ruxton : I don't allow pets. You won't be able to keep your seeing eye dog here.

  Tom Sullivan : [patting Will on the chest]  Oh, I don't have a seeing eye dog, Mrs. Ruxton. I have Sly.

  Will Sly : Woof, woof.

  Mrs. Ruxton : Oh dear.

• Will Sly : [Interrupts Tom Sullivan singing in the shower]  Hey, Beverly Sills, you mind if I smoke?

  Tom Sullivan : In the shower?

  Will Sly : Oh, I always smoke in the shower. I find it cuts down the risk of serious fire by about half.