User Reviews

I just noticed that two of my all-time favorite comedies were both released during my birth year, one is "made in America" and you've probably heard about it: "Tootsie". But I'm not so sure about the other, it's called "Le Pere Noel est une Ordure" aka "Santa Claus is a Bastard", if you're French, you already know it's a classic. If you're not, I seriously doubt you've heard of it, but if you have the chance to watch it, go ahead, you won't be disappointed, believe me, it's a laugh riot and most of the jokes won't be lost in translation. Only don't expect a sugar-coated fairy tale with a Miracle at the end, the film isn't your typical Christmas movie.

"Santa Claus is a Bastard" is the movie adaptation of a stage play from 1979 starring the 'Splendid' actors who co-wrote it with Anémone, who plays Thérèse, the female lead. The film marks the come-back to the big screen of the Splendid Troop: Christian Clavier, Thierry Lhermitte, Gérard Jugnot and al after the two opus of the "Bronzés" series. Their films met with modest commercial successes but through the years and many airings on TV, they became more and more successful and today, it's only justice that they're regarded not just as cult-classics but as some of the funniest pages of French Comedy's book. "Santa Claus" is no exception as it made less than 2 millions in the box-office, probably because of the provocative title or the untimely release (on summer) but it's still better than many films directed by Jean-Marie Poire, his "Visitors II" made more than 7 millions spectators, but it's pure rubbish compared to his early classic.

There's not much a plot in the film, it follows the nightmarish journey of a bunch of neurotic/misfit characters during the most sacred day of the year: Christmas. Now just imagine two volunteers at a telephone helpline for lonely and depressed people, the geeky Pierre Montes and Therese, a well-to-do woman, "not ugly" according to Pierre, but who "just doesn't have easy looks". Now take Josiane Balasko as Mrs. Musquin, the hot-headed colleague who's stuck the whole night in a malfunctioning lift. Take Katia, the depressive transvestite in love with Pierre. Christian Clavier is convincingly feminine for that part. Take a trailer trash couple : Félix, an ex-con using a Santa Claus outfit to sell Sexy Christmas parties leaflets across the street, and his wife, the heavily pregnant Josette, Therese's best friend. Last but not least, a Bulgarian neighbor, Mr Preskovic bringing his country's food to the great displeasure of Thérese and Pierre. Now, you have the most colorful gallery of characters, of any Christmas movie.

Every actor plays its part with perfection, never trying to outshine the other, and as soon as the first gag starts, when an African Santa Klaus tells Felix to beat it, there is not one minute in the film that doesn't feature a visual gag and a classic funny line, what would you expect more from a comedy. See, there are two levels of fun in the film, carried by two opposite forces, there are the anarchic characters that don't give a damn about Christmas spirit and take it as an opportunity to eat or make money, or find sex or love and those who try to embody the spirit of Christmas out of charity, help and empathy. Therefore, Therese can't refuse hospitality to her friend Josette, Pierre can't refuse a sensual dance with 'Katia' and both Therese and Pierre can't refuse to taste Mr. Preskovic's delicious Dobicous from Sofia. They look awful, and their reactions are priceless, but when Mr. Preskovci specifies that ""They do taste home-made! Hand-made, and rolled under the armpits." My mouth was empty but I thought I was the one who would choke to death looking at Lhermitte's face.

Thierry Lhermitte, far from his usual boyish and charming looks, is really impressive as the mild-mannered and calm Pierre, so calm that when he snaps and starts insulting Therese when she accidentally hurts his finger during an attempt to help Mrs. Musquin, it's so unpredictable, so out-of-character that the laughing effect is almost tripled. And there is something both touching and poignant in his interactions with Therese, these two have something going between, and like carried by the magic of Christmas, they didn't forget the gifts. And what gifts! Pierre painted a portrait of her naked with a smiling pig, surreal humor at its best; she offered him a sweater, "A floor-rag." He screamed. 'How beautiful! I'm so happy!" Realizing his mistake, he admitted he needed something to go to the trash room. The movie is cleverly written, not a surprise from the team who wrote the two "Bronzés" films. By the way, I love to consider it as the third of an unofficial trilogy rather than the third official "Bronzés" film made in 2006.

Everything works perfectly in the film in every cinematic level of humor, dialogs, subtlety, surrealism, slapstick, it's perfect and carried by top notch performances. Gérard Jugnot is wonderful as the hot-headed Felix, Josette as his hysterically crazy wife. Thankfully, the whole mayhem of the film is punctuated with calmer moments. The slow between Pierre and Katia with the 'Destinée' song is one of the most memorable of French cinema, and plot's crescendo evolution goes on and one fluidly and perfectly until the inevitable outburst of violence and a final explosion of sex, so natural that we're not even shocked, sooner or later, it has to explode. Still, for a film so chaotic, that it remained to keep certain coherence with a shrinking and stinking cake, an albino rabbit, a corpse, a transvestite shot in the foot is a remarkable achievement.

To conclude, I will paraphrase one of the most hilariously ambiguous lines of the film, and say "I hate to speak ill of movies. Such a nice film indeed!"

This film was hugely successful in France when it came out. It is an adaptation of a play and deals with the trials and tribulations of the French equivalent of the "Samaritans" one Christmas evening in Paris. The actors are all well known and the plot, although inexistent, is rendered unnecessary by the magnificent performances of the actors. However it should be stated that the humor in the film is specifically destined to the French market. It is not universal humor, like for example, Mr Bean, Charlie Chaplin or Louis de Funès. The humor is often black and crude, there are some lighter moments but I honestly cannot see this appealing to many people living outside France. Knowledge of the French language, culture, and some understanding of what makes people laugh here, is necessary. There obviously will be exceptions to this statement, but of course I am talking in general terms. The film contains many famous lines and statements - notably Thierry L'hermit's famous "C'est cela !!) used every time has to listen to someone complaining and where he couldn't care a toss about the object of the complaint. There is also a neighbour in the building who brings along to the Samaritans one of his culinary specialities from an Eastern European country. These are called "Dou-bit-choux" and are apparently prepared by rolling them under one's armpits !!! In one instance a sex maniac calls the switchboard and vents all his desires on the lady (Anémone) who is unlucky enough to take the call. The film ends with one person who has died being cut up into pieces, parceled up and taken to the Zoo de Vincennes to be disposed of as food for the animals. All this is, objectively, quite sick, humor-wise but it is easy to become inveigled into it while watching it. I think that non French speakers may have some difficulty as the tone of the film is rather particular.

Whilst all of the Christmas lights get taken down,I decided that with having a bundle of set at X-Mas films waiting to be played,that I would continue with some merry viewings,leading to me finding out how much Santa smells.

View on the film:

Largely set in one apartment building,co-writer/(with Josiane Balasko/Marie-Anne Chazel/Christian Clavier/Gerard Jugnot/Thierry Lhermitte & Bruno Moynot)director Jean-Marie Poire and cinematographer Robert Alazraki stylishly break out from the stage origins with smooth panning shots across walls lined with glossy Christmassy reds and blues, which subtly stands at odds with the pitch-black Comedy taking place.

Darting round the antics of the hotline office, Poire hangs each punchline on the tree with hilarious close-ups on stuffy Pierre trying to hold everything together,as chaos starts twirling towards him.

Bringing the stage show to the big screen in their first non- French Fried Vacation movie, the screenplay by Comedy group Le Splendid fills the stockings with sweet pitch-black one-liners of the increasingly neurotic Pierre and Therese finding their Christmas Eve manning the hotline,becoming from unexpected guests visiting,bringing presents of their troubles.

Along with serving up merry one liners, The Splendid group shares brilliant characterisation,with the trans Katia being shown in a sympathetic light as she voices frustration from being caught in the frantic activities in the building, as Pierre clutches at straws to retain his withdrawn, mild-manner state.

Unable to sip Christmas cheer whilst manning the calls,Thierry Lhermitte gives a gloriously dead-pan turn as Pierre, whose neurotic frustrations Lhermitte has reach boiling point, from the stench of Santa Claus.

Listen, each time I try to write about this film, I do it too long, too convoluted, too...Too! So simply : WATCH this film! It's a legend! It's insanely funny! It's insanely witty! The plot, the actor's play, the layout, the atmosphere, everything's top of the top! It's the best of the best of the best ever comedies! There...Feels better!

Now the plot : It's Christmas eve, a very special moment for French people (think of it as Christmas crossed with thanksgiving if you're from the US), in a parisian apartment doubling as office of a help line for suicidal people.

The staff are used to odd types, but only from a distance.

But this evening their quiet, narrow, petit-bourgeois lives will be totally upset by the intrusion of Josette and her former "boyfriend" Félix, two hillbillies (Felix is costumed as Santa Claus for he just took an odd job, advertising a Christmas peep-show on the streets).

To add insult to injury, Katia, a transvestite sick with loneliness, manages to sneak in, notwithstanding the usual intrusions of Mr Preskovic, immigrant from Bulgaria and neighbor to the help line, desperately trying to woo Thérèse, one of the female staff.

With all these conflicting characters the evening can only descend into chaos, and it will, of course, in a very dark and joyous way! Once again : WATCH THIS FILM! Ah, and please note that this is a DARK comedy...Therefore expect plenty of foul language, explicit sexual language, half-hidden sexual and implicit gore situations!