Creator (1985)

Vincent Spano: Boris Lafkin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Boris : You know, Harry, I'm still trying to find the big picture but I keep missing it because I am so in love with Barbara that nothing else matters.

  Dr Harry Wolper : What makes you think you are missing it?

• Boris : That's it? One course in "The Big Picture". 12 credits.

  Dr Harry Wolper : It's very big. 12 credits probably isn't enough, it's so big.

  Boris : I think I'll go back down to registration.

  Dr Harry Wolper : There are no exams. Grades are based on interest and participation.

  Boris : It's ok with me, I like exams.

  Dr Harry Wolper : MY assistantships pay $3,500.

  Boris : So do everybody else's.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Also, I know the name of the girl you followed into the lab.

  [pause] 

  Boris : I need to think.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Think there.

• Boris : Love is dead, Harry.

  Dr Harry Wolper : How depressing. Never mind, Boris. Women's liberation will run its course and we will prevail.

• Boris : Harry, how did you know you were in love? I mean with you and Lucy. How'd you know it wasn't just infatuation?

  Dr Harry Wolper : Scientifically, of COURSE. By using The Love Formula.

  Boris : The what?

  Dr Harry Wolper : Love Formula. Add up the number of times that you think about the lady each day. Subtract from the total the number of times you think about yourself each day. If the remainder is more lady, and less yourself, then it's love.

  Boris : Oh, I've been thinking about Barbara a lot lately.

  Dr Harry Wolper : What's so very neat about this particular formula, is that "a lot" plugs into it beautifully. Boris, would you and the subject of your computations care to join me at the beach house for the weekend?

• Dr Harry Wolper : (to patient) Well now, haven't you put yourself into a pretty old pickle?

  Boris : Harry.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Eh heh?

  Boris : Harry, she's in a coma.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Comas confuse me. She's not asleep. She is not dead. She must be alive, don't you think?

  Boris : Yes.

  Dr Harry Wolper : But what we need round here is some consciousness.

• Dr Harry Wolper : Does it check?

  Boris : Yes it checks. They all check. They're coming out just the way they did when Sid ordered them. You're right, he does good work.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Mmm. Also, he is an asshole.

• Boris : Wanna know something really crazy, Harry?

  Dr Harry Wolper : Always.

• Boris : We're gonna do it, Harry.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Oh no. YOU. Are going to do it.

• Boris : She's breathing by herself.

  Pavlo : Yes Boris, she is.

  Boris : Well that's a GOOD SIGN, isn't it?

  Pavlo : Yes, Boris, that's an excellent sign. It is absolutely outstanding.

• Boris : [the doctors have removed Barbara's ventilator and are reading her vitals]  Barbara! You did great!

  [kisses her hand, then her forehead] 

  Boris : Now, don't go anywhere! I'm gonna go get your parents, and I'm gonna tell Harry! Ok? Oh, Barbara! I love you! She's alive!

  [Boris hugs Cid] 

  Boris : Barabara's alive!

  [Boris hugs a nurse walking past the ICU] 

  Boris : Barbara's alive!

  [Boris leaps over the nurse's station and kisses the nurse] 

  Boris : I gotta go tell everybody!

  [Boris runs out towards the entrance] 

  Dr Harry Wolper : [Harry is sitting on the bench outside the entrance to the lab, reading a newspaper and waiting for news on Barbara] 

  Boris : [races out of the lab and looks around wildly. He sees Harry sitting on the bench, who has seen Boris run out, putting down his paper]  SON OF A BITCH!

  [Boris screams this, throwing his hands up in the air] 

  Dr Harry Wolper : [Harry stands, drops the paper and closing his eyes, holds out his arms as Boris comes running to him and throws his arms around Harry. The two embrace, and Boris begins crying tears of happiness and relief into Harry's shoulder] 

• Dr Sid Kullenbeck : Come on Harry, I need him. I'm running a tight well-oiled machine over in my lab, and every insignificant little cog counts. Now where the hell is the little fucker?

  Boris : The little fucker is over here, sir.

• Boris : You have two labs?

  Dr Harry Wolper : Each has its place. At the university, I try to please the Federal Government. Here, I negotiate with God.

• Boris : You know what happened the other night? I was dreaming about you and Lucy. How you met at the beach, and how much you loved each other. I woke up, and I was crying. All these tears were just - I wanna love someone like that so bad, Harry, it hurts.

  Dr Harry Wolper : Barbara Spencer.

  Boris : What?

  Dr Harry Wolper : Well it's not much, but it's all I have at the moment.

  Boris : What is?

  Dr Harry Wolper : The name of the girl you followed into the lab. It's Barbara Spencer.

• Boris : Can I go home now? I'm kinda jocked out.

• Barbara : Larry kept telling me that we would just be roommates and nothing more. Then I wasn't there a week until he was trying to get me to SLEEP with him.

  Boris : That's terrible. ...

  Boris : Y'know Barbara, I've got lots of room in my apartment. And I won't bother you, really.

• Boris : We were wondering if, um, well, if she might have gotten pregnant somehow.

  Dr Sid Kullenbeck : "Somehow".