- Phil Hicks, Groover: You are the most irresponsible person I have ever met.
- Gardner: Well, somebody had to be.
- Gardner: Here's to us, by God! To us and that and privileges of youth. Here's to us and what we were.
- Phil Hicks, Groover: And what we'll be.
- Gardner: And what we'll be.
- Gardner: You ever been in love, Philip?
- Phil Hicks, Groover: I don't know.
- Gardner: Of course you know. You ever thought you loved a woman, you loved her. That's all love is, mostly - thoughts.
- Phil Hicks, Groover: They're airheads Gardner. Bimbos. Little girls with little brains.
- Gardner: Well we're not trying to expand their MINDS Phillip so don't get picky on me.
- Truman Sparks: Ok, now, you'll be coming out here, and you'll be doing a stable fall facedown, frog modified. Now, out here comes the static line, 'cause it goes, like, from this to here, see? And as the pilot chute'll open, it'll pull the bridle out, and then the main canopy'll be open, see, because they're all connected. And you'll be down here, and you'll be looking up here for the W.D.I. indicator and you're also gonna check for Mae West and if that's not there, then you need to check here for 4 panels and a hole. Now, when you come down, you're gonna find the "P," and you're gonna land over here, and you're gonna get in this position. Except, you don't wanna do that because that means you're in trouble. So what you wanna do is you wanna get right here, and then you're gonna come around here, and you're gonna fold up, and you're gonna do a toggle and jettison, and always watch the horizon, Ok?
- Philip: Texas is really ugly, you know. I mean, what could anyone possibly like about this state?
- Dorman: I like the way it's shaped.
- Phillip: Well, we're not youths anymore, Peter Pan!
- Kenneth Waggener: Looking at a road map - "That's dirt son, there's no highway through here. The dotted line means dirt."
- Gardner: giggling - "I thought it meant shortcut"
- Phil Hicks, Groover: "Do you know what "E" means? Do you know what "E" means? It means empty, Douchebag! Like your head!"
- Gardner: "Well, I guess I'm just not officer material"
- Truman Sparks: Truman, you are a gentleman and a scholar.
- Gardner: Look, l owed you one, Mr. Barnes. And here she is.