A Zed & Two Noughts (1985)

Andréa Ferréol: Alba Bewick

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alba Bewick : In the land of the legless the one-legged woman is queen.

• Alba Bewick : Imagine that, the body - in all its delicious detail - fading away leaving a skeleton with iron legs.

• Alba Bewick : I am about to become a mother, and you are about to become a father... or fathers.

  Oswald Deuce : You what?

  Oliver Deuce : You are?

  Alba Bewick : I am.

  Oswald Deuce : Good lord.

  Oliver Deuce : You can?

  Alba Bewick : Of course! Is leglessness a form of contraception?

  Oswald Deuce : I'm not sure.

  Alba Bewick : You're not sure!

  Oswald Deuce : I'm delighted!

  Alba Bewick : You are delighted!

  [suspiciously] 

  Alba Bewick : A pregnant cripple and you are delighted? Think of what it will do to my sense of balance!

  Oswald Deuce : It might help! Give you more stability.

  Alba Bewick : Then you recommend it? Recommendation's one thing. A womb on crutches is another.

  Oliver Deuce : So... who's the father?

  Alba Bewick : Well, well, well. Why don't you discuss it between yourselves?

  Oliver Deuce : Why, don't you know?

  Alba Bewick : Grand dieu! Does an animal behaviorist need to ask such questions? As far as I'm concerned, you both are.

  Oswald Deuce : But you...

  Alba Bewick : NO BUTS!

  [smiling] 

  Alba Bewick : You're brothers, aren't you? What's a few spermatozoa among brothers!