- Reno Hightower: She's gonna leave me as soon as I fix her car.
- Jack Dundee: you gonna fix it?
- Reno Hightower: Hell no! I love her.
- Jack Dundee: Elly, I have a new move for you.
- Elly Dundee: Oh? Show me.
- Jack Dundee: It's part Smokey Robinson, Part Gladys Knight, but it's all me.
- [Spins while undressing]
- Jack Dundee: Jack....Aquarius...gotta gotta gotta gotta, satisfy.
- Elly Dundee: Sort of a white 'Pip', I love it.
- Charlie: All those that think Jack's proposition is sprinkled with horseshit, signify by saying "aye."
- All Caribou: Aye!
- Charlie: Opposed?
- Reno Hightower: No.
- Charlie: The ayes are above the nos.
- Reno Hightower: I was never great. I was pretty good. I was great for around here. Every year I got better. The people remember me in my prime. The kids always ask me about the 6 touchdown passes against Porterville. Hell, I only threw 3 touchdowns.
- Jack Dundee: It was 7.
- Reno Hightower: I'm not going to argue. I like the idea of 7 better. In a couple more years it'll be 8. I get better with age. My knees are killing me. I'm slow.
- Jack Dundee: That's why you didn't want to play the game.
- Reno Hightower: No. I just... I didn't want to destroy the only thing I've got left, those stories about how great I was.
- Jack Dundee: That's fine Elly. But this town is still headed right into the bowels of hell. And only a great victory can act as an enema for its soul.
- Jaki: Eww! That is gross, dad.
- Jack Dundee: Sorry.
- Luther Jackson: Uh, two minutes left to kick-off. Time for my last smoke.
- Reno Hightower: You lazy jive-ass! You're soft, you're slow and your hands are for shit!
- Luther Jackson: Hey, who woke you up?
- Reno Hightower: Get on the field and shut up, Luther!
- Luther Jackson: Reno, you're a prick, and you always were a prick.
- Reno Hightower: Great, great. Now get your ass on the field. NOW!
- Reno Hightower: Okay Jack, you tell the Caribou whatever you want, but I'm gonna tell you something. You're a low-life, black mailing, chicken-shit squid.
- Jack Dundee: Low-life, black mailing, chicken-shit squid? Welcome aboard Reno.