Very Close Quarters (1984)

Merwin Goldsmith: Boris

Quotes 

• Boris : [narration]  This is our communal flat in Moscow. We have 31 people living here. We share one bathroom, one kitchen, one toilet, and one telephone. I ask you, is this a way to live?

• Pavel : You know, I was reading in Scientific Soviet the other day, every person spends a year and a half, to two years of his life on the can.

  Boris : So?

  Pavel : So, it's a waste. Some day our scientists will invent a portable device and eliminate the toilet altogether.

  Senile Woman : The toilet doesn't eliminate, we eliminate in the toilet.

  Boris : No, eliminate, no eliminate the waste of time.

  Pavel : In all of time there's be quite a lot of waste to eliminate.

  Boris : Eliminate the waste of time on the can!

  Senile Woman : You're wasting my time.

  Senile Woman : Your time *is* waste.

  Pavel : It's a lot of shit!

• Boris : Let's set a time-limit on going to the bathroom. Yes a time-limit, three minutes for children, five minutes for adults.

  Irina : Seven, seven for women.

  Boris : Ah, who asked you?

  Irina : Ten if it's our time of the month.

  Boris : A man must read the newspaper every day. And there's only one place to do it!