- John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?
- John McClane: That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me. You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. Dosen't show up on your airport X-ray machines, here, and it cost more than you make in a month.
- Carmine Lorenzo: You'd be a surprised what I make in a month.
- John McClane: If it's more than a dollar ninety-eight I'd be very surprised.
- Samantha Coleman: You give me this story and I'll have your baby.
- John McClane: That's not the kind of ride I'm looking for!
- John McClane: [McClane is forced to crawl through yet another ventilation system] Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. Eggnog, a fuckin' Christmas tree, a little turkey. But, no. I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can.
- John McClane: Guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an asshole after all.
- Grant: Oh, you were right. I'm just your kind of asshole.
- Samantha Coleman: Colonel Stuart, could we have a few words please?
- Col. Stuart: You can have two: "fuck" and "you".
- Garber: [grabbing the TV Camera] No pictures, you pinko bitch!
- John McClane: Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?
- [under his breath]
- John McClane: Fat fuck.
- Al Powell: You're not pissing in somebody's pool, are you?
- John McClane: Yeah, and I'm fresh outta chlorine.
- Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport.
- John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too.
- Marvin: You like it, huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it?
- John McClane: How 'bout I let you live?
- Marvin: Man knows how to bargain.
- Richard Thornburg: No you did not explain anything to me. All you did was shove me back here in this cattle car.
- Stewardess: Sir, you were told when you boarded we were overbooked.
- Richard Thornburg: Fine. Done. I accept that. But why in hell can't I get the first class meal my network paid for. Do you know who I am?
- Stewardess: Yes. We've all seen your program. Your episode "Flying Junkyards" was a very objective look at air traffic safety.
- Stewardess: It wasn't nearly as edifying as "Bimbos of the Sky." Was it, Connie?
- Richard Thornburg: You think you're funny. You think you're funny. Fine. I've got your number.
- Stewardess: And I've got yours. So park it, Sir.
- Richard Thornburg: [sits down and sees Holly looking at him] Stewardess!
- Stewardess: Mr. Thornburg, you cannot monopolize my time.
- Richard Thornburg: You cannot put me near that woman.
- Stewardess: Excuse me?
- Holly McClane: He means he's filed a restraining order against me. I'm not allowed within 50 feet of him.
- Richard Thornburg: 50 yards. So by keeping me in the section you are violating a court order. I can sue you and this airline. That woman assaulted me and she humiliated me in public.
- Stewardess: [walks over to Holly and whispers] What did you do?
- Holly McClane: Knocked out two of his teeth.
- Stewardess: Would you like some champagne?
- Al Powell: What's this about?
- John McClane: Oh, just a feeling I have.
- Al Powell: Ouch. When you get those feelings, insurance companies start to go bankrupt.
- Trudeau: Alright, we've got a body in the morgue that seems to have died twice. Assuming it's not a computer error, what do we assume?
- John McClane: That somebody's about to seriously fuck with this airport.
- Trudeau: What the hell is that supposed to mean? I mean, I know we're dummies up here, McClane, so give us a little taste of your brilliant genius! I mean, you talking about a hijacking, a robbery or what?
- John McClane: Look, I'm not sure. All I know, is...
- Carmine Lorenzo: Oh, he's not sure! Well, I'm stunned! I gotta lie down!
- John McClane: The only people that go to this much trouble are professionals, not luggage thieves and not punks!
- Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: Professional at what?
- John McClane: [holding up the fax] What the fuck do you this is, huh? The safety patrol, here? This is the resume of a professional mercenary! You got the world's biggest drug dealer on his way here, now. What, do you need, a slide rule to figure this out? Or maybe another body in a zipper bag before you start asking questions?
- Carmine Lorenzo: Hey, pal, you're the one that gave us that fuckin' body, remember that.
- John McClane: Yeah, I remember that.
- Rent-A-Car Girl: I close in about an hour. Maybe we can go get a drink?
- John McClane: [shows his wedding ring] Just the fax, ma'am. Just the fax.
- Holly McClane: Honey, it's the '90s, remember? Microchips, microwaves, faxes, *air phones*.
- John McClane: Hey, well, as far as I'm concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza.
- Holly McClane: Listen Dick. That is your name? Dick. If you're gonna continue to get this close do you think you might consider switching aftershaves?
- Richard Thornburg: Anything else?
- Holly McClane: Stronger mouthwash would be nice.
- John McClane: All right, just stay here and get ready to call the marines.
- Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: I thought they were the army.
- John McClane: Who gives a fuck, just be ready.
- Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: [an air traffic controller has suggested getting portable lights to direct the planes] And where do we get those big portable lights? Borrow them from Batman?
- Richard Thornburg: [Thornburg has been grossly distorting and exaggerating the facts about the terrorists to WZDC News over the air-phone] But at least the truth, is *not* among the hostages because I, Richard Thornburg, just happen to be here. To put his life and talent on the line for humanity and country,
- [Holly enters the bathroom]
- Richard Thornburg: and if this should be my final broadcast...
- Holly McClane: [zaps him with stun-gun] Amen to that, Dick!
- Carmine Lorenzo: Hey McClane! You get this parking ticket in front of my airport?
- John McClane: Yeah.
- Carmine Lorenzo: [Lorenzo tears ticket up] Ah, what the hell; it's Christmas!
- Gen. Ramon Esperanza: [Esperanza has landed the plane and steps outside] Freedom!
- John McClane: [punches him] Not yet!
- John McClane: [draws his gun on Esperanza] You're supposed to stay in your seat until the plane reaches the terminal. No frequent flier mileage for you.
- Gen. Ramon Esperanza: Who are you?
- John McClane: A cop.
- Gen. Ramon Esperanza: A cop?
- John McClane: Yeah. One of the good guys. You see, you're one of the bad guys, and now that I got your sorry ass, I'm gonna trade it for my wife.
- Chopper Pilot: [McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter] What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough?
- John McClane: I don't like to fly.
- Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here?
- John McClane: I don't like to lose either.
- Morgue Worker: [John McClane is taking a dead guy's fingerprints] Hey. You're supposed to do that at the morgue.
- John McClane: Not anymore. Got a new SOP for DOA's from the FAA.
- Trudeau: [after Thornburg has reported that terrorists have taken control of the airport] That stupid, arrogant son-of-a-bitch! It's all over the airport.
- Trudeau: [to all the air traffic controllers] "Alright everyone, let's call all our birds and slow 'em down before we get a parking lot over our heads. The line starts at the Mississippi and they better start taking numbers."
- Maj. Grant: [Grant and his men have landed in their choppers] Major Grant. We're Blue Light.
- Rollins, Department of Justice Representative: Rollins, Department of Justice.
- Trudeau: Trudeau, Chief of Air Operations.
- Carmine Lorenzo: Lorenzo, Terminal Police. You want something, you got it.
- John McClane: This is it? One fucking platoon?
- Maj. Grant: One crisis, one platoon. Who are you?
- John McClane: John McClane.
- Maj. Grant: McClane, you showed some balls out there, man.
- John McClane: Yeah.
- Maj. Grant: Now, show some good sense. Let the pros handle this.
- John McClane: Yeah, well, it looks like the pros are on the wrong team tonight. Isn't Colonel Stuart one of your men?
- Maj. Grant: No, not anymore he's not. Now we're here to take Colonel Stuart down. And we will take him down. You see, I served with him. I taught him everything he knows.
- John McClane: Well, maybe he's learned a few more things since then.
- [Kahn comes down from the choir loft and joins Colonel Stuart and Garber]
- Kahn: Sir! We just monitored a call from the chief engineer. Our people took out their SWAT team, *completely*.
- Garber: You were right. They went for the antenna array. We're right on schedule.
- Colonel Stuart: Losing our own team wasn't part of the plan.
- [He goes over to the phone and dials; he is heard in the tower and by McClane over Barnes's phone]
- Colonel Stuart: Attention, Dulles Tower. Attention, Dulles Control Tower. Mr. Trudeau, I know you're listening. Unfortunately, you're not obeying.
- Trudeau: [to himself] Draw me face to face. We'll see.
- Colonel Stuart: You were warned not to try to restore your systems. You've wasted lives and precious time on a futile and obvious target. Now you're gonna pay the penalty.
- John McClane: [on the Skywalk, through Barnes's phone] I've got five dead officers down here, Colonel Stuart! Is that penalty enough?
- [Lorenzo goes over to the phone]
- Carmine Lorenzo: McClane, you keep out of this! You've been enough of a pain...
- [He stops midsentence when he notices Trudeau glaring unhappily at him]
- Colonel Stuart: Oh, McClane. John McClane. The policeman hero who saved the Nakatomi hostages. I read about you in People Magazine. You seemed a bit out of your league on Nightline, I thought.
- John McClane: Hey, Colonel. Blow me! How much drug money is Esperanza paying you to turn traitor?
- Colonel Stuart: I think Cardinal Richilieu said it best: "Treason is merely a matter of dates." This country's got to learn that it can't keep cutting the legs off of men like General Esperanza. Men who have the guts to stand up against Communist aggression.
- John McClane: And Lesson #1 starts with killing policemen? What's Lesson #2, the neutron bomb?
- Colonel Stuart: No. I think we can find something in between. Watch this!
- [Hangs up and turns to Thompson]
- Colonel Stuart: Give me a flight number - one that's low on fuel.
- [Thompson hands him a slip]
- Thompson: Windsor 114, transatlantic from London. Fuel tanks dry as a martini.
- Colonel Stuart: Activate the ILS landing system. Recalibrate sea level - *minus* 200 feet.
- [Thompson rotates a dial and taps his pen on a computer screen to recalibrate the system]
- Controller in tower: Oh Jesus! They've reset ground level minus 200 feet!
- John McClane: I'll make you a deal, Marvin. You show me a shortcut out to those runways and I'll get you a liner for that coat.
- Grant: [McClane has just returned from a brutal fight with a terrorist] McClane! You alright? You want a medic?
- Carmine Lorenzo: McClane, what the hell do you think you're doing out there, huh? Playing John Wayne? How'd ya like to spend the rest of the night in a cell?
- Grant: Lorenzo, shut the fuck up and do something useful!
- Carmine Lorenzo: Hey! You can't talk to me like that!
- Grant: Oh no, Carmine? Sergeant, get this bureaucrat out of Mr. McClane's face! Now!
- Sgt. Oswald Cochrane: With pleasure, Sir.
- Carmine Lorenzo: Yeah, yeah, I know who you are. You're the asshole who just broke 7 FAA and 5 District of Columbia regulations running round my airport with a gun, shooting at people. What do you call that shit?
- John McClane: Self-defense.
- Carmine Lorenzo: [scoffs] And you think that LA badge is gonna get you a free lunch or something around here?
- John McClane: Your boys just walked away from a crime scene, Captain. You can't deal this thing up in 10 minutes, and you know it. You gotta seal the area off, take pictures...
- Carmine Lorenzo: [cuts him off] Hey, don't lecture me, hotshot. I know what I'm doing. We'll dust it down, we'll, uh, sweep for fibers...
- John McClane: Just shut down the area and...
- Carmine Lorenzo: Oh, it's that simple, huh? Just shut the area down? Yeah, and I got everybody from the Schriner's convention to the goddamn boy scouts tapering through here.
- [a woman starts to walk into the office with a handful of papers]
- Carmine Lorenzo: I got lost kids, lost dogs-
- [notices the woman]
- Carmine Lorenzo: Not now! Later!
- [to McClane]
- Carmine Lorenzo: I got international diplomats. I got a fuckin' reindeer flyin' in here from the fuckin' petting zoo! But, John McClane, he's got a little problem. He'll, let's shut down the whole fuckin' airport! Now, what do you think they're gonna say upstairs when I tell them that?
- John McClane: Why don't you pick up the phone and find out?
- Carmine Lorenzo: Because I don't need full fuckin' forensics that tell me all this was was some punk stealing luggage!
- John McClane: Hey, that guy pulled a Glock 7 on me. You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany, it doesn't show up on your. -ray machines, and it costs more than you make in a month!
- Carmine Lorenzo: You'd be surprised what I make in a month.
- John McClane: If it's more than $1.98, I'd be very surprised.
- Carmine Lorenzo: McClane, don't start believing your own press, huh?
- [snatches the paper from McClane's hand]
- Carmine Lorenzo: Yeah, yeah, I know all about you and that Nakatomi thing in LA. Look, you are in my little pond now. And I am the big fish that runs it. So, you cap some low-life. Fine.
- [presses a button sending two officers to throw McClane out of the office]
- Carmine Lorenzo: I'll send your fuckin' captain in LA a fuckin' commendation. Now, in the meantime, you get the hell out of my office before I throw you out of my goddamn airport!
- [2 officers arrive and stare at McClane, waiting for him to leave]
- John McClane: [pauses in the doorway] Come on, let me ask you something. What set off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass, or the shit in your brains?
- [whispers]
- John McClane: Fat fuck.
- John McClane: Excuse me, officers. This may sound like a wild goose chase, but, I think I just saw...
- Sgt. Vito Lorenzo: Saw what?
- John McClane: Elvis. Elvis Presley.
- Sgt. Vito Lorenzo: [after McClane leaves, Sgt Lorenzo turns to his partner] Fucking tourists. Oughta be a law.
- Trudeau: [after McClane has failed to prevent the Windsor plane crash triggered by Col. Stuart] McClane, I know what you must feel.
- John McClane: I wanted to help those people tonight. I was pretty goddamn useless.
- [the SWAT team escorting Barnes reaches the moving sidewalk on the Annex Skywalk]
- Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: [on the phone with Trudeau] We're in the Annex Skywalk. I can see the array. I'll give you a call for protocol tests as soon as it's hot. That's all for now.
- [hangs up; we hear Barnes give an instruction to the SWAT team's sergeant. At the other end of the sidewalk, we see Sheldon set down his roller and start to reach for his gun]
- Sergeant: Right, sir. You've got it.
- [At the end of the sidewalk, O'Reilly presses the stop button that shuts down the walkway. All six of the men nearly lose their balance; he then turns his back to them]
- Sergeant: What the hell's going on?
- [to the worker at the end of the sidewalk]
- Sergeant: Hey! Put that back on!
- [as they continue along the walkway, Mulkey and Shockley start to reach for their weapons]
- Sergeant: Hey, asshole! Whadda I look like to you?
- [O'Reilly turns around, holding a Glock 17 in his left hand]
- O'Reilly: A sitting duck!
- [He shoots the Sergeant in the head, killing him instantly; he then dives for cover as the other officers return fire; McClane hears the gunfire from inside the ventilation shaft]
- John McClane: Shit!
- [He draws his Beretta 92FS and checks the slide]
- John McClane: Damnit! I hate it when I'm right!
- [He continues crawling along at a much faster speed]
- John McClane: If Esperanza gets on that plane and makes it to a country that has no extradition treaties, we're fucked.
- Col. Stuart: [after triggering an airplane crash; into the radio] That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. Out.
- Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: [dryly, while looking at a radio McClane retrieves from one of the Annex Skywalk soldiers] Next time you kill one of these guys, get 'em to enter the code first.