- Laura Staton: You've come to tell me you can't make it tonight?
- Lt. Columbo: Oh, nooooo.
- Laura Staton: You've come to tell me there's one more thing?
- Lt. Columbo: [Breaks into a huge grin] That's a yes.
- Barney: Can I ask you a question?
- Lt. Columbo: No!
- Barney: How do you do a thing like that? How do you lock up the lady the way you feel about her?
- Lt. Columbo: Who said I felt anything about her?
- Barney: You did!
- Lt. Columbo: Listen, you believe everything a cop tells you, you're a damn fool.
- Barney: Where are you going?
- Lt. Columbo: It's Thursday night. Taking the wife bowling.
- Lt. Columbo: Can I ask you something?
- Laura Staton: Why do you ask if you could ask? You're gonna do it anyway.
- Lt. Columbo: If they did it, ya catch 'em. If an angel did it, ya get the cuffs for the hands and a rope for the wings.
- Laura Staton: [after kissing Columbo] Would you be very angry if I did that again?
- Lt. Columbo: You can do it again, I want you to know.
- Nick's Maid: Mm. Si, si, it's very good. In El Salvador, we put jam.
- Lt. Columbo: [laughs] You see, in El Salvador, you've got brains.
- Lt. Columbo: I guess that's why I have such soft feet. In the previous episode, A bird in the hand. Columbo eludes to his soft feet. Due to having sweaty feet.