Photos
Quotes
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Cal Meecham : [after German scientist comments on Mozart at dinner] What do you think of Mr. Mozart, Exeter?
Exeter : I'm afraid I don't know the chap.
Tom Servo : "I'm not an alien!"
Exeter : My mind must have been wandering. Your composer, of course.
Cal Meecham : *Our* composer - he belongs to the world!
Exeter : Yes, indeed.
Mike : "I'm not an alien."
Cal Meecham : That dinner, Exeter, was even more perfect than you promised. Now if you'll excuse me, I could do with some fresh air myself.
Crow T. Robot : He's gonna get high!
Cal Meecham : Would you care to join me, Dr. Adams?
Tom Servo : "Uh, no!"
Cal Meecham : You, Dr. Carlson?
Mike : "Your turn to walk the Cal."
Exeter : Why don't you? Show him the grounds.
Crow T. Robot : "I dare ya!"
Exeter : We won't start cracking the whip on Meecham until tomorrow.
Tom Servo : "Then I ram my ovipositor down your throat, and lay my eggs in your chest! But I'm *not* an alien!"
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Tom Servo : This Island Earth can be yours IF the price is right!
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[as Cal and Joe assemble the Interositor]
Crow T. Robot : Science and Industry!
Tom Servo : See big men sticking screw drivers into things - turning them - AND ADJUSTING THEM!
Crow T. Robot : Build your very own Atom Storage Box!
Mike : Bringing you state-of-the-art in soft-serve technology!
Crow T. Robot : Removes lids off bottles and jars of all sizes - and it really, really works.
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Tom Servo : Captain's log: a bunch of our ship fell off, and, nobody likes me.
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Benkitnorf : [the crew catches Benkitnorf in the shower on Tom Servo's interositer] Man, you guys scared the living daylights out of me!
Mike : It's working! Hey! Hi, is Exeter there?
Benkitnorf : Nah, him and Brack went down to Headbutt Days for Shelly. I gotta meet 'em in the beer tent in about fifteen minutes, so I gotta get going, 'kay?
Tom Servo : No, wait! We're trapped in space! Can we use this thing to get back to Earth?
Benkitnorf : I don't know. Geez... let's see, maybe this does something...
[pushes button, zapping Servo]
Benkitnorf : Crap. That's not it. Hang on...
[gets manual]
Benkitnorf : Okay. Did you use the Intensifier Disc?
All : Yes.
Benkitnorf : Turn the controls 18 degrees to the left?
All : Did that.
Benkitnorf : Are you in Europe? Do you need an adapter?
All : No.
Benkitnorf : Well, look. I don't know anything about this thing. Maybe this does something...
[pushes button, zapping Servo again]
Benkitnorf : Oops. That didn't work. Okay, well I'll be sure to tell Exeter to give you a call! Bye!
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Tom Servo : Wow, that ringing! Now he knows what the world sounds like to Pete Townshend!
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Exeter : [a MutAnt blocks their path to escape] He appears badly hurt - stay close to me.
Tom Servo : *Ahem* "Guten Tag! Zigaretten? Wir wollen ein Auto mieten!"
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Exeter : They're concentrating all their attention on Metaluna. Those flashes of light - they're meteors. Hundreds of them! The intense heat is turning Metaluna into a radioactive sun. The temperature must be thousands of degrees by now.
Crow T. Robot : Cooler by the lake.
Exeter : A lifeless planet. And yet...
Tom Servo : Rents are reasonable!
Exeter : Yet, still serving a useful purpose, I hope. Yes... a sun, warming the surface of some other world - giving light to those who may need it.
Mike : "Still, your whole family died. That's a bummer, huh?"
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[Watching the credits, Eastman productions comes up]
Tom Servo : EASTMAN! He came from the east, to do battle with the amazing RANDO!
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Tom Servo : Well what kind of shit-hole planet is this?
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Crow T. Robot , Mike , Tom Servo : NORMAL VIEW! NORMAL VIIEEEEW!
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Joe : Cal! Pull up!
Cal Meecham : I can't. I'm too low.
Tom Servo : I got the blues, so bad, uh huh.
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Crow T. Robot : Man, the universe is really cruisin'.
Tom Servo : Hey, look, there's Taurus the bull.
Mike : And right underneath him the constellation feces.
Crow T. Robot : Hey, look, Orion's broke.
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Joe Wilson : If there is any reason around here.
Tom Servo : What with all the shenanigans and goings-on.
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[as Tom Servo reads the opening credits:]
Tom Servo : Okay, let's see here... Shatner, Shatner... no, doesn't look like he's in this one; we're safe.
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Exeter : I beg your pardon, Mr. Wilson, your camera will pick up nothing but black fog.
Tom Servo : Oh, it's a Goldstar.
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Tom Servo : Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of Babylon 5.
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Tom Servo : Ah, they're going 65, so they'll be there in 3 BILLION years...
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Tom Servo : This isn't shot day-for-night. It's more like 4:30-for-5:15.
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Crow T. Robot : [as ship descends into fantastic Metaluna landscape] Looks like Dr. Seuss designed their planet!
Tom Servo : Oh, they're flying into a Roger Dean album cover.
Crow T. Robot : They're very into "Yes" on this planet.
Tom Servo : Hee hee!
Mike : International flights always get the gate furthest from the terminal.
Tom Servo : Remember, we're parked in the "Denubrian Slime Devil" lot!
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Tom Servo : [Zagon bomb explodes en route to thought-transference chamber] "Golly, those doggone Zagons are really licking us, huh! Well, let's go get your brains scrambled..."
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Tom Servo : If not satisfied with this movie, please return unused portion for a full refund.
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Tom Servo : I could've sworn we parked at the... Oh shit!
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[as entire mountain explodes]
Tom Servo : That's what happens when you leave a potato in the microwave!
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[alien spaceship catches plane in tractor beam]
Mike Nelson : I'm beginning to think they're not from around here.
Tom Servo : No, I bet you they're English, or Canadian.
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Plane Voice : Good morning, Dr. Meecham.
Tom Servo : Good morning, Voice.
Plane Voice : Hope you slept well.
Mike Nelson : 'Cause it's time to die.
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[Cal and Joe are looking in an interositer catalog]
Joe Wilson : Here's something my wife could use in the house...
Crow T. Robot : A man?
Joe Wilson : ...an interositer incorporating an electron sorter.
Cal Meecham : She'll probably gain twenty pounds while it does all the work for her.
Tom Servo : Cal, you bitch!
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Exeter : Into the converter tubes. Ruth, you take the first tube. Cal, you take the second.
Cal Meecham : What about you?
Exeter : I'll take the third tube.
Tom Servo : [as Cal] Oh, right. Stupid question.
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Dr. Cal Meecham : [after Ruth's tube opens and the mutant is attacking] Run, Ruth, Run!
Tom Servo : Brilliant strategy, thanks Napoleon!
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[deleted scene]
Tom Servo : Well, it was pretty much me, Mike, who saved you.
Crow T. Robot : Servo, you cried like Oksana Baiul.
Tom Servo : I never!
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Tom Servo : Crow you big dope, you can't tunnel through space!
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Tom Servo : Self cleaning mutant. Leaves only the fresh scent of pine.
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Tom Servo : It's the amazing Technicolor cheese wedge!
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Tom Servo : Captain's log: I've lost my toupee and girdle, and I can't leave my room!
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Tom Servo : I'm experiencing a sensation altogether new to me, and frankly I love it!
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Tom Servo : Oh, they're flying into a Roger Dean album cover.
Crow T. Robot : They're very into Yes on this planet.
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Crow T. Robot : [as Ruth] Oh, Carl.
Tom Servo : [as Cal] Er, Cal.
Crow T. Robot : [as Ruth] Oh, Cal.
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Tom Servo : Let go of my hand, Joe!
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Tom Servo : Sort this, deliver that, I'll make them all pay.
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Tom Servo : Hope you like cyanide!
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Tom Servo : Come on, you couple of single-stomach, micro-cephalic bilobes.
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Tom Servo : Left, right, left... Left, right, left... Ouch! A door.