Heartbreakers (2001)
Kevin Nealon: Man at the Bar
Photos
Quotes
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Page Conners : Why can't we pick someone who's even just a little bit cute?
Max Conners : Dean was kind of cute.
Page Conners : You're in serious denial.
Max Conners : Page, I've told you, cute is dangerous. Cute leads to feelings which leads to screwing which leads to screwed.
Page Conners : I know that we can make that Doctor and his Mom work for us.
Max Conners : Page, we are going with Tensey and that is that.
Page Conners : That is not that! You wanna go with Tensey, go with Tensey, okay? I'm working Davis.
Max Conners : Page, I've told you before, no simultaneous cons, too many angles.
Page Conners : Yeah, but that's not just it, is it?
Max Conners : What?
Page Conners : You don't think I can be the primary, do you?
Max Conners : I didn't say that, although it does take an enormous amount of skill.
Page Conners : I can make men do anything.
Max Conners : Boys. You can make boys do anything: Gas station attendants, bartenders, the occasional migrant worker. A one-shot seduction is child's play compared to getting someone to marry you in 3 months.
Page Conners : 4 months.
Max Conners : What?
Page Conners : Well, it took you 4 months this time. You used to be able to do it in 3.
Max Conners : What are you saying? That I'm losing it? I'm getting too old?
Page Conners : I didn't say that.
Max Conners : I am in terrific shape. Feel my butt.
Page Conners : Ugh, I am going to feel your butt again, Mother, okay, we all know it's wonderful.
Max Conners : Tell you what: I'll play you for it.
Page Conners : Great. I've got cards.
Max Conners : Right. Like I'm going to trust your cards. See that guy over at the bar? First one to get him to buy her a drink wins.
Page Conners : Deal.
Page Conners : [Walking over to the bar, sitting next to their target] Hi. It's hot.
Man at the Bar : Yes it is.
Max Conners : [Comes over, sits down next to the other side of their target] Hi.
Man at the Bar : [Smiles at Max and turns back to page, holding a cigarette in her mouth] Let me get that for ya.
[Lights her cigarette]
Max Conners : [Max drops her shoe] Oh, my. Would you mind?
Man at the Bar : Not at all.
[Places her shoe back on her foot]
Max Conners : You're too kind. I'm Betty.
Max Conners : Hi, my name is-...
Page Conners : [Interrupts, grabbing onto his peanuts] Excuse me, may I... grab your nuts?
[Eats one of his peanuts]
Page Conners : Mmm, salty.
[Max begins coughing]
Max Conners : Are you okay? Can I get you a drink?
Man at the Bar : We go with Tensey.
Page Conners : Stupid Jerk!
[She gets up and walks away, leaving him confused]