Dick (1999)
Kirsten Dunst: Betsy Jobs
Photos
Quotes
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Betsy Jobs : Checkers pooped.
Rose Mary Woods : Girls, the President's dog doesn't "poop." He "does his business."
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Betsy Jobs : We heard that tape!
Dick : What'd you hear?
Betsy Jobs : You kick Checkers! And you're prejudiced and you have a potty-mouth!
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Betsy Jobs : You're the smartest person I know.
Arlene Lorenzo : But you don't know anybody.
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Bob Woodward : [meeting Betsy and Arlene] You're Deep Throat?
Arlene Lorenzo : Yeah.
Betsy Jobs : We both are.
Bob Woodward : How old are you?
Betsy Jobs : Twenty-three.
Bob Woodward : Is that your combined ages?
Betsy Jobs : [scoffs] There's no need to be snotty!
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Arlene Lorenzo : I hate Dick! It was stupid of me to fall in love with Dick. What was I thinking? Dick just disgusts me now.
Betsy Jobs : You know, Arlene, Dick meant a lot to me too. But I've been thinking - you can't let Dick run your life!
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Arlene Lorenzo , Betsy Jobs : You suck, Dick!
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Betsy Jobs : Isn't it against the law to cut up the flag?
Arlene Lorenzo : Not if you sew it back together.
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Betsy Jobs : Are you the President's dog trainer?
John Dean : I'm John Dean, Chief White House Counsel.
Betsy Jobs : Oh. That's too bad.
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Arlene Lorenzo : How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.
Betsy Jobs : We are stupid teenage girls.
Arlene Lorenzo : No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something.
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Bob Woodward : A lot of people want to know who our source is on this.
Betsy Jobs : Really? We're going to be famous!
Bob Woodward : But we've decided never to reveal your identity.
Arlene Lorenzo : For our own protection?
Bob Woodward : No. It's just too embarrassing.
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Betsy Jobs : I'm just trying to imagine here, what exactly is your connection with the White House?
Arlene Lorenzo : We were the Secret Youth Advisers.
Betsy Jobs : And we walked the dog. And Arlene was in love with Dick.
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Arlene Lorenzo : So you really think that my dad could be alive?
Betsy Jobs : Alive and famous! It makes perfect sense, he was probably married or something and your mom had to keep it a secret to protect his reputation. I mean, he's probably out there right now, his heart breaking because he can't reach out to the one person who truly maters to him. His darling daughter.
Arlene Lorenzo : My life is so tragic!
Betsy Jobs : Or it could be worse! What if... years from now you get married and find out that your finacee's dad is your dad, too, and you two are brother and sister!
Arlene Lorenzo : Oh my GOD!
Betsy Jobs : Mhm. It's called incest, Arlene. And it's against the law.
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Betsy Jobs : Hey, that guy has T.P. stuck to his shoe.
Arlene Lorenzo : Hey, mister! Hey! Hey, you, hey turn around, mister!
G. Gordon Liddy : Young lady, I am a *very* busy man.
Arlene Lorenzo : Wait a minute, I know you.
Betsy Jobs : Me too. But from where?
Arlene Lorenzo : I don't know.
Betsy Jobs : [thinks for a second, then gasps] Are you the guy who sells corndogs at the mall?
G. Gordon Liddy : As far as you're concerned, I have no identity at all. As a matter of fact - l'm not even here.
[turns around and leaves]
Arlene Lorenzo : He's way weirder than the corn-dog guy.
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Betsy Jobs : [while looking at a portrait of George Washington] It looks like he's wearing blush.
[the girls giggle]
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Arlene Lorenzo : Let's ask the President to stop the war.
Betsy Jobs : Okay! But how are we going to get into the White House?
Arlene Lorenzo : Unless you wanna keep the war going, so Larry will leave and you can have his room.
Betsy Jobs : No. Larry's a freak and all, but, I'd be sad if he, you know... .
Arlene Lorenzo : Died?
Betsy Jobs : Yeah.
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Betsy Jobs : We should leave a message for Dick.
Arlene Lorenzo : Like what?
Betsy Jobs : Arlene, I think it's time you told him how you feel.
Arlene Lorenzo : I can't.
Betsy Jobs : Well, maybe he loves you too, but he doesn't think you're interested.
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Arlene Lorenzo : I don't understand the title of that porno movie.
Betsy Jobs : [whispers] "Deep Throat" means...
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Betsy Jobs : And this one's kind of hunky.
Arlene Lorenzo : Gross.
Betsy Jobs : Well, you liked Dick.
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Arlene Lorenzo : We think you haven't been completely honest with us.
Dick : Let me tell you, if it's about that goddamn Watergate! I tell you, I had NOTHING to do with it, you hear? It's those goddamn Woodward and Burnstein! They're out to get me!
Arlene Lorenzo : [Stunned silence] Actually it was just about the dog.
Betsy Jobs : You act like you like him. But we don't think you do.
Dick : What dog?
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Betsy Jobs : What are you doing?
Chip : Beer Bong?
Betsy Jobs : I'm definitely tripping already... heavily.
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Dick : How are you doing young ladies? What are your names?
Betsy Jobs : I'm Betsy and this is Arlene, Mr. President.
Dick : Okay, call me Dick.
Betsy Jobs : Hi Dick.
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Larry Jobs : The old drugs aren't working. We need to create new drugs. Have you guys been eating those cookies?
Betsy Jobs : We gave them to Mom and Dad to taste. They ate all of them and started giggling and went upstairs. I think they're having sex now.
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Dick : I had you checked out. There's probably more in there than you know about yourselves.
Betsy Jobs : Even grades?
Dick : Yeah, grades, your parents' income tax returns, overdue library books. The whole kit and caboodle.
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Betsy Jobs : Peace.
Dick : Oh, good. I mean, eh, groovy.
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Betsy Jobs : What names?
Carl Bernstein : The names! The information!
Bob Woodward : Listen, people are counting on you!
Betsy Jobs : Well, look, you two are the big-shot reporters. Can't you figure anything out for yourselves?
Carl Bernstein : What about that list from CREEP? How could you let your dog eat it? You're ruining my life!
Arlene Lorenzo : We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days and we can't find any books on it. It's too much pressure.
Betsy Jobs : Just leave us alone!
