That '70s Show (1998–2006)
Lisa Robin Kelly: Laurie Forman
Photos
Quotes
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Kitty Forman : I need someone who can take evil
[Laurie walks in]
Kitty Forman : How's mama's girl? I have a job for you.
Laurie Forman : Not interested.
Kitty Forman : It pays 10 dollars.
Laurie Forman : I'll do anything for ten dollars.
Kitty Forman : For once that's a good thing.
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Red : Nothing around this house is cheap.
Eric : Except for Laurie.
Laurie Forman : I am not cheap!
Eric : Free, whatever.
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Pastor Dave : Ok, Laurie, let's see what you have.
Laurie Forman : [Laurie slowly puts three cards down one at a time while smiling and glaring at Dave]
Pastor Dave : Six... six... six... Oh, well thank you for the wonderful evening! I'll see you at church!
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Donna Pinciotti : Do you think Eric could cheat on me with Shelley?
Michael Kelso : Donna, Shelley's a tramp. No guy could ever turn down a tramp.
Donna Pinciotti : Oh, my god. Is that true?
Steven Hyde : I don't know. Let's find out. Laurie, have you ever been turned down?
Laurie Forman : No.
Steven Hyde : See?
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Laurie Forman : You should watch your back.
Jackie Burkhardt : You should stop spending so much time on yours.
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Red : Well, we got vandals in this town. I was driving home and I saw the water tower giving me the finger.
Laurie Forman : Vandals you say? Hmm, where were you last night, Eric?
Kitty Forman : Oh, can it, Laurie. Eric you look pale. Let me see your eyes.
[Eric just looks down]
Kitty Forman : Look at me.
[Eric looks at Kitty, imagining her she was naked after seeing his parents having sex]
Kitty Forman : Do you have fever?
Red : [Eric looks at Red, and he's imagining him naked, too] I know what you need. Right after breakfast, I want you to mow the lawn. The fresh air will do you good.
Kitty Forman : [the camera turns around back to Kitty. Kitty is still naked and she wipes something off her chest] Eric, is something bothering you?
Eric : [looking at Kitty and Red a couple more times] God, make it stop!
[leaves the table]
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Laurie Forman : You know Eric, hickeys lead to dirty things.
Red Forman : For God sakes. Don't let Donna suck your neck.
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Michael Kelso : Jackie and I are back together.
Laurie Forman : I understand. But, do you want to see my appendix scar?
Michael Kelso : Once again... WHAT'S-HER-NAME AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER.
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Steven Hyde : Pimp gave you the holiday off, huh?
Laurie Forman : Yeah, he replaced me with your mom.
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Red Forman : Oh and uh, here's a 20.
Laurie Forman : Will that cover for gas?
Kitty Forman : Oh well, honey, give her another 10 just in case.
Eric : You know, I could use some gas money.
Red Forman : [laughs] Yeah... and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hops.
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Eric : Laurie was born with a tail!
[Fez and Hyde look disgusted; Laurie looks horrified and humiliated]
Laurie Forman : I hate you!
[runs away crying]
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Laurie Forman : Hey jackie, whose that cute guy you came here with?
Jackie Burkhardt : BACK OFF! I need him for right now but you can have him when i'm done.
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Michael Kelso : Laurie, what's going on? You're acting like you're liking me, and that's weird.
Laurie Forman : Like I told you, Kelso. I'm bored.
Michael Kelso : Well, that's very flattering.
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Steven Hyde : Oh, I see how it is. When things get ugly, all of a sudden I'm family.
Laurie Forman : Not to me, you freak.
Steven Hyde : [pause] You are SO gonna wind up in porno.
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Red Forman : I say good riddance. That cat was always making a mess on my lawn and going through my garbage.
Laurie Forman : Yeah. But now we have Hyde to do that.
Steven Hyde : Oh yeah, Laurie? And what exactly do you do? Oh, yeah - the Packers.
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Kitty Forman : Steven's father is in town?
Laurie Forman : Yeah, right. Like he even knows who his father is.
[gets up and leaves]
Red Forman : Do you know anything about this?
Eric : Yeah. She's a bitch.
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Donna Pinciotti : Laurie, are these your panties?
Laurie Forman : Donna, please. I don't wear pink panties.
Steven Hyde : Yeah, she'd have to wear panties to wear pink panties.
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Eric : Fez, you better start kissing Red's butt or else he'll make sure you're deported.
Fez : Who should be kissing who's butt? He should be thanking me for taking his trashy daughter off his hands.
Laurie Forman : I'm not that trashy. I won't sleep with you.
Fez : Oh, zip it Jezabelle.
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[Red complains about the neighbors' dog]
Red : That thing was always messing in my yard and going through my trash.
Laurie Forman : Now we have Hyde for that.
Steven Hyde : Oh yeah Laurie, and what exactly do you do? Oh that's right, the Packers.
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Laurie Forman : What about Hyde? Why doesn't HE have to go to church?
Steven Hyde : While I respect the Judeo-Christian ethic, as well as the eastern philosophies and of course the teachings of Mohammed, I find that organized religion has corrupted those beliefs to justify countless atrocities throughout history. Were I to attend church, I'd be a hypocrite.
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Laurie Forman : Stop being such a little girl and do something bad for once!