I refer of course to the bit part in two Sabrina the Teenage Witch episodes that constitute the peak of Matt Battaglia's career, prior to, and now that I think about it, even after this 'feature' film is taken into account.
Let's have no mistake here; it truly is appalling. Weapons' grade suckage. It's bad beyond even so-bad-it's-good, because it has absolutely no idea how bad it is. We're talking Nick Fury: Agent of Shield bad, but without the inherent absurdity of David Hasselhoff to raise it up to kitch bad. It just stinks, in every possible way. Let's count the ways, because it beats watching it.
A nominal leading man who has almost no lines in the film, and who spends most of it with his lips pursed like he's just pulled someone's finger and doesn't like the smell.
A bimbo who makes Erika Eleniak's performance in Under Siege look like it deserved an Oscar.
A score that could charitably be called eclectic, although "absolutely bonkers random" might be more appropriate.
A continuation of the random theme into the cinematography and editing. The shots and edits seem have been chosen by spinning the Wheel-O-Film-School-101, with a baffling mix of: slowmo; jump cuts; repeated cuts (showing Van Damme kicking a guy in the head 4 times is one thing; doing it for someone who's just standing up is... bizarre); and most peculiar of all, some PoV shots from unrelated mystery observers.
Gary Busey waddling around like a camp hippopotamus.
Dialog that's half exposition and half filler.
And worst of all, pacing that makes My Dinner With Andre look like Speed.
I could forgive almost everything else, but this movie is just such a pathetically dull, slogging exercise in mediocrity that commenting on it is far more fun than actually watching it. On a scale of American Ninja to American Ninja V, I give this film a rating of "American Ninja 4: The Abomination".