Titus (2000–2002)
Cynthia Watros: Erin Fitzpatrick
Photos
Quotes
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Christopher Titus : It should be a law. Everyone should have to own a gun. In fact, if you get caught outside your house without your gun, you get a ticket. And you get shot in the leg. Just to prove their point.
Christopher Titus : Think about it. There'd be no more car jackings.
Tommy Shafter : [Tommy's car is being robbed by a guy with crowbar, the carjacker shouts "Get out of the car!", Tommy shoots the carjacker] Get out of the street!
Christopher Titus : Bag boys would be more courteous.
Ken Titus : [Ken is at the supermarket, the bag boy puts bread in a bag, then drops a six-pack on the bread. Ken shoots the bag boy] It's canned goods first, then bread!
Christopher Titus : And people in general would just be a lot friendlier.
Erin Fitzpatrick : [after a guy cuts to the front of the line, Erin shoots him] No cuts!
Christopher Titus : I want everybody to get behind this law. Because the first couple of years, a lot of us are gonna die!
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Erin Fitzpatrick : You let a car fall on him. I still don't know what that taught him.
Ken Titus : Cars are heavy.
Erin Fitzpatrick : Everybody knows that.
Ken Titus : So does he, thanks to me.
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Christopher Titus : Every woman that has ever loved my dad has tried killing him.
Erin Fitzpatrick : What's funny about that?
Christopher Titus : Laughter, absolute terror, fine line.
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[after Perry bursts into the house]
Fay Shafter : Perry!
Erin Fitzpatrick : Mr. Shafter!
Tommy Shafter : Dad!
Ken Titus : Homo!
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[repeated line]
Erin Fitzpatrick : Hey you!
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Erin Fitzpatrick : Ok, nurse-feratu.