Matthew Schutt: Clarence the Nerd, Nimrod, Shaggy, Shirtless Fool, Alfred E. Schnitzenfretzel, Billy, Dad, Gruff, Matt, Narrator, Producer, Teen Angst Personified, The Loveworm, The Ponderer, Zephrod, AA Member, Abe, Alfonso, Announcer, Armpit Guy, Asylum Patient, Balloon Darter, Betty Lou, Blind Dancer, Bobby, Bully, Bushdiver, Caller #2, Caller #7, Captioner, Chalk Boy, Chicken Eatin' Moron, Churchgoer, Classmate, Coffee Table Corpse, Concerned Citizen at Laundromat, Confetti Tosser, Dancer, Danny, Diner, Dirty Dicky, Driver, Elwin, FBI Agent, Freak, French Fry Guy, Groundhog's Soulmate, Harry Polinkadowski, Hippie, Interviewer, J.A. Spokesmodel, Jamil, Janitor, Jeff's Roommate, Jenkins, Jesus, Junior Messiah, Kenny, Left Gang, Less Than Appreciative Guy, Litterer, Locker Room Stud, Lucifer, Mad Scientist, Marker Sniffer, Marvin, Matthias, Movie Watcher, Nostalgic Hero, Observer, Oskar Schindler, Oswald, Passenger, Preacher Beater, Priest, Principal, Punk Rocker, Rioter, Shopping Cart Puller, Spanish Student, Stud, Superman, Tape Twirler, Thief, Thorton, Tour Guide, Trunkie, Uncle Matt, Underwear Customer, Valedictorian, Vern, Vladimir, Xenophobic, Zombie Victim