- A short film about the problems that accompany an actor as he auditions, due to his multi-ethnic appearance.
- A man (Vin Diesel) wearing a sleeveless white undershirt and black hat is speaking in an thick Italian-American accent, with accompanying gestures and body movements. He says there are no good women out there, then tells a story. He took his girlfriend out to dinner and struck a stranger who seemed to have been flirting with her. Upon realizing the stranger was gay, he concluded that his girlfriend was flirting, took her outside and beat her. The storyteller concludes by expressing his confusion that she doesn't call anymore, re-enforcing his theme that there are no good girls available.
Across the room, a man (Lewis Steidl) asks if Mike (the storyteller) can speak Italian. Mike repeats a few commonly-heard phrases. Holding up a headshot photo of Mike, he asks who Mike's agent is - it is clear that the story was an audition for an acting job. The man impassively says for Mike to call with the info, indicating the end of the interview. The woman (Cara Gaffen) sitting at the table stops Mike for a moment asking who wrote the monologue. Mike claims it is a true story.
At a streetside payphone, Mike speaks with only a slight New York accent to his manager, assuring him that he followed his instruction to claim the monologue was a true story. As he speaks, he wipes his bicep with alcohol to remove a mark evidently placed to make him convincing in the role. He worries about the offensiveness of the story, complaining that such an attitude won't win an Oscar. He laughs into the phone and says Joe Pesci was different.
Next Mike walks into a waiting room, encountering a black friend Ivan (Phillip Jones) who is also there to audition. As Mike dons a shirt and adds an earring, they discuss making commercials, a source of income for struggling actors. Mike says that real actors like Pacino and Denzel don't do them, while Ivan expresses willingness for any paying job. Mike relates his concerns about the offensive audition.
They are interrupted by a black man (Ivan Jordain) who looks surprised at Mike's appearance. He apologetically explains that Mike is too light skinned for the part. Mike thanks him for his honesty. Greg promises to call him for something that he would fit, and mentions a job next week which requires Hispanics. Mike leaves.
In another waiting room, a woman (Ruth Otero) and a man (F. Valentino Morales) on a sofa are studying a script. The man mumbles the lines to himself, some English and some Spanish. Mike walks in wearing a red muscle shirt. A man quickly enters from the office, calling Yvette and then asking Mike if he has read the sidebars. Mike looks dubiously at the sofa, and says he is ready.
Holding pages, the woman and Mike act out a heated argument. Mike is convincingly doing a Pacino-as-Scarface accent, until the woman shouts at him in Spanish. Mike looks at her. He looks at the pages. Looks at her. Looks at the pages.
Mike steps out of a building onto the sidewalk. Yvette joins him moments later, expressing surprise that his family doesn't speak Spanish at home. She compliments his acting, and mentions a soap opera with several roles he would fit. He is not interested, explaining that real actors like Marlon Brando and Sidney Poitier didn't do soaps.
Mike is now sitting in another waiting area. He is listening to rap on his headphones, nodding his head as he reads the script. A black woman comes out, telling him that they loved his tape and giving instructions. She reads with him as he does a street thug audition. The black men thank him, then after his exit explain to the woman that they want "more of a Wesley type" (Wesley Snipes, with his dark, almost ebony complexion.)
After the interview, Mike is again on a payphone talking to his manager, this time about a music video. Mike explains he has gone there "like 3000 times", and did a tape, and points out that real actors-- it is evident that his manager interrupts Mike twice so that he can't give his usual plaint.
Mike waits in the hallway outside the music video office. An actress comes out, fumbling her things as she stuffs them into her bag, and explains that it's "not so nice" in there.
Inside, a woman says they liked his tape and he should do more of the same. However, the director stops her and asks if Mike can rap as indicated on his resume. Mike does a short bit, ending with an amusing use of the common actor's favorite line, Brando's "Stella!" The director is disappointed to hear that Mike is not pursuing rap.
The hearers are pleased and ask him to perform whatever he has ready. Mike tells a poignant story of growing up watching his black father act. He says he didn't realize his father's message until he died. His father didn't want him to follow in his footsteps and become a black actor. He wanted him to be an actor.
When he finishes, his listeners are stunned. The director points out how different it was from his audition tape (which was obviously preferred.) Finally, the director gives a brush off speech, that they need someone with long hair, dreadlocks, etc. As Mike leaves the office, the casting agent runs out to him, expressing her admiration.
In a diner that night, Mike overhears a girl saying that she gets turned down for parts because she is either too wholesome or too "bimbo-y". She then orders coffee ... not too light, not too dark.
Mike is struck by this. He mouths the words "not too light, not too dark" to himself.
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