A Truthful Liar (1924)

Will Rogers: Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [after declining an alcoholic drink and ordering a glass of milk instead, then needing a plausible excuse for choosing such an "un-manly" beverage]  What with Prohibition and all, I'm afraid that soon they may outlaw milk back in the States, so I want to enjoy it while I can.

• Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [referring to a male trio that is performing nearby]  Their singin' ain't bad - - it just sounds that way.

• Agatha Doolittle : [in a partly-fake fluttery huff after inspecting the thick wad of bills - - Will's winnings from the poker games with the King - - that Will hands to her]  You promised me you wouldn't gamble!

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : You don't know the King - - he was such a lousy poker-player that I knew I could win every game. So I wasn't gamblin'; I was just collectin'.

  Agatha Doolittle : [still trying to maintain her charade of an upset and disapproving attitude, although we notice that she DOES accept the wad of bills willingly enough, and tuck them away into her pocket! :P] 

  Mary Doolittle : [in a casual way that shows that SHE doesn't care if her papa gambled or not... she merely wonders if Mom will be the only one to receive a gift collected during Will's travels]  Didn't you bring anything for me, Daddy?

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [takes out the fancy little crown that he won from the King - - probably the King gave it to Will at the end of their last poker game, after the King ran out of whatever pocket cash he'd had with him - - and places it gently on his daughter's smiling head] 

  Mary Doolittle : [smiles gratefully, then winks coquettishly and holds up her hand the way the Queen did when Will had greeted her, as was shown earlier in his story] 

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [smiles in indulging amusement, then tenderly lifts his daughter's hand and kisses the back of it] 

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [Fade-out; switching back to the present with Will reciting his adventures to the crowd of townspeople]  So aside from teaching the King to play craps, I guess that's about it.

  Young boy in crowd : [in a bold taunting tone]  Razzberries! You win the silk-lined shotgun!

  [his sister hurriendly shushes him in an attempt to get him to "remain civil and polite to their honored returning hero", although the other townspeople also begin disgustedly waving off Will's story as being hogwash] 

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [draws himself up stiffly in an exaggerated attitude of offended defensiveness]  I hope a BUILDING FALLS IN ON ME if every word I've spoken isn't the truth!

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [scene switches to the wall of a large factory building next to him; the huge brick chimney that's built onto the outside pops loose from the wall and topples over, showering Will with bricks. The townspeople stand around and cooly survey the scene of chaos with their arms folded or on their hips, staring at Will with a sarcastic "WELL, PART OF A BUILDING **DID** FALL ON YOU - - WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY **NOW** ABOUT THE ACCURACY OF YOUR STORIES?" expression. Will sits up a little shakily and groggily after having been deluged with all the bricks, coated white with mortar dust, and grins in amused humiliation]  Well - - mebbe I did stretch it a little...

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [the townspeople laugh, and then as the picture fades out, they good-naturedly begin helping clear away the scattered bricks from around Will] 

• Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [after having the "upper-crust proper-gentleman's walk" demonstrated to him, and disgustedly viewing it as ridiculous and physically restraining]  If that's the King's idea o' walkin', I'd hate to see him on the run!

• Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [in a narration title]  The Count De Casserole wanted to get married for two reasons - - money and cash.

• Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : [in a narration title, accompanied by footage of the Prince riding very clumsily and bouncily, and therefore causing his horse to have a horrendous choppy jarring gait]  The Prince's horsemanship had its ups and downs...

  [the Prince gets progressively jolted looser and looser in his saddle until he finally falls off and plops on the ground in an untidy heap and a big cloud of dust] 

  Ambassador Alfalfa Doolittle : ... mostly downs!