User Reviews

This film is worth watching for the opening scene, where Christopher Ecclestone gives a fabulous rendition of John Cooper Clarke's poem, "ChickenTown".

If you don't know the poem, you're in for a real treat. If you do know it, you'll hear a version that even surpasses a John Cooper Clarke performance in both its venom and humour.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film doesn't live up to this initial promise. The characters just don't stand up as real people. Strayman in particular: one minute he's giving the performance of his life reading poetry in a pub, next moment he can't string two words together. And what is it with Strumpet needing to strip off in order to be able to sing? There are also some plot holes (such as who feeds Strayman's pack of dogs when they travel to London on their first trip south and how Strumpet manages to find a caravan home to hide in when in London).

This utterly dull, senseless, pointless, spiritless, and dumb movie isn't the final proof that the world can forget about Danny Boyle and his post-"Trainspotting" movies: "The Beach" already took care of that. What this low-budget oddity does is merely to secure his place among those who started very well but got completely lost in drugs, booze, ego, self-delusion, bad management or whatever it was that lead to this once-promising director's quick demise.

The premise is absurd: two losers (Ecclestone and some bimbo Jenna G - a rapper, likely) meet by chance and spontaneously start singing with fervour more akin to lunatic asylum inhabitants than a potential hit-making duo - which they become. A friend of theirs - an even bigger illiterate loser - becomes their manager by smashing a store window and stealing a video-camera by which he films them in "action", and then shows the tape to some music people who actually show interest in this garbage. Now, I know that the UK in recent years has put out incredible junk, but this is ridiculous; the music makes Oasis seem like The Beatles. During the studio recordings, the duo - Strumpet - change lyrics in every take and Ecclestone quite arrogantly tells the music biz guys to take it or leave it, and quite absurdly they do take it. Not only is the music total and utter trash, but its "performers" are anti-social; these NEWCOMERS are supposed to be calling the shots. It's just too dumb. It's plain awful.

The dialog is unfunny and goes nowhere, and this rags-to-bitches story has no point and makes no sense. It often feels improvised - under the influence of drugs. Danny Boyle is a complete idiot. This little piece of trash is so bad it's embarrassing to watch. Ecclestone's I.Q. also has to be questioned for agreeing to be part of this nonsense. Whoever financed this £1000 joke should leave the movie business before they end up selling their own underwear on street corners.