Gallagher: We Need a Hero (1992 Video)

Gallagher: Self

Quotes 

• Gallagher : So women cannot keep a secret *but*, they can hold a fart. The reason I say this, I never met a woman that'd admit it was her. You go to a party, you smell a party fart. You ask around, it's never one of the girls. So, if you ever want to tell a woman a secret, whisper in her ass.

• Gallagher : [speaking to George Bush]  You said "read my lips" because you were lying out your ass.

• Gallagher : I hate it when my heroes let me down! I hate it when they throw my admiration on the ground! So I'll be my own hero! I'll be my own man! I'm the only one I ever met that's really worth a damn.

• Gallagher : These companies think we're idiots, telling us soup is good food... soup isn't even food! Soup is what's left over in the dishwasher after a good meal.

• Gallagher : Gary Busey said you don't need a helmet when you ride your motorcycle... then his Harley jumped on his head and cracked it like Humpty-Dumpty! Now he *still* says he's not wearin' a helmet. Well, who's taking *his* advice?

  [shouts] 

  Gallagher : He's got a crack in his head!

• Gallagher : When the beer companies say 'know when to say when'... you don't ask a drunk to know when to say when! Why don't *you* guys say when to say when? *You're* the experts on beer! You're too drunk to drive when you can't carry a drink with you to the car.

• Gallagher : Why doesn't Madonna have a sex show, teaching kids about sex? 'Cause she's 'Like A Virgin'. Like *when*? First time I saw her dance I knew she screwed like an epileptic rabbit with the hiccups!