Garfield's Thanksgiving (1989 TV Short)

Lorenzo Music: Garfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• Garfield : Well, I might as well see how the ole diet's going.

  [steps on his scale] 

  RX2 : Hello, I'm RX2, your talking scale. I can tell you your weight, your fortune, or just about anything else you would like to know.

  Garfield : Okay, smarty pants, what's my name?

  RX2 : Judging by your weight, you are Orson Welles.

  Garfield : Great, her voice chip with a cruel streak.

  RX2 : May I have your autograph, please?

  Garfield : Oh, shut up. Why is everybody picking on me, and what's wrong with being large-boned, anyway?

  RX2 : I've seen all your movies.

  Garfield : Hey, how would you like to have your battery removed?

  RX2 : I wouldn't like that, Mr. Welles.

  Garfield : It's not like I'm all that overweight; I can still see my feet.

  RX2 : I've seen "Citizen Kane" eight times.

  Garfield : All right, that's it, you're history!

  [stamps the scale repeatedly till it breaks, then dashes away as his scale beeps] 

  RX2 : [drones]  Rosebuuuuuuud...

• Garfield : Hello, what's this?

  [reads calendar page] 

  Garfield : Take Garfield to vet's today. Oh no! Not - THE VET! Jon *can't* take me to the vet; that's inhumane! The vet thinks she knows what's good for me, good for *her*; but that's bad for me, because what's bad is good for me, but if I go to the vet, and that's bad, she'll prescribe what's good for me and, that's not good! But maybe... if today disappeared, Jon'll forget about his little note.

  [detaches the calendar page] 

  Garfield : Here, Odie! Wednesdays are good and good for ya!

  [shoves the page in Odie's mouth] 

• Dr. Liz Wilson : The good news is your cat is as healthy as a horse.

  Garfield : Hear that, Jon? The woman is a great physician, a specialist!

  Dr. Liz Wilson : The bad news is he's also big as a horse. He'll have to go on a diet.

  Garfield : Quack, she's a quack! Get me outta here!

• Garfield : Pancakes, pancakes the size of Australia, and coffee, yes, Jon, coffee. We wouldn't be the great nation we are without coffee. So do your patriotic duty, Jon Arbuckle, and fix - me - breakfast!

  [drum beats, then Odie crashes cymbals] 

  Jon Arbuckle : [slightly dazed]  I wonder if people with goldfish have this problem.

• Grandma : [as she finishes sawing the turkey Jon failed to cook earlier]  Ever had Grandma's famous turkey croquettes, Garfield? *Nothin'* finer.

  Garfield : Go, Grandma, go!

  Grandma : [as she rapidly makes the turkey croquettes before Garfield]  There now, we'll just put together a little white sauce. A bit o'parsley, drops o'lemon juice, and grated onion. Now add all turkey to white sauce, make some breadin', roll our mixture in the breadin', and deep fat fry!

  Grandma : [chanting]  Deep fat fry, deep fat fry, music to my ears!

• Grandma : How's my favorite kitty cat today?

  Garfield : Better now that you're here, Grandma.

  Grandma : Aw, you're looking a little thin. Isn't that grandson of mine feedin' you?

  Garfield : Grandma, I love you, don't ever leave us.

• Garfield : Gee, I've been on this diet only ten minutes and I can tell I've already lost something... my sense of humor.

• Jon Arbuckle : [as Garfield chatters over his upcoming vet visit]  Now just relax.

  Garfield : Want me to relax, take me to Hawaii.

  Jon Arbuckle : I'm only bringing you to the vet for a checkup.

  Garfield : Check OUT, Jon. You're only bringing me here to check out the vet. Why don't you marry her, then she could make house calls?

• Garfield : [seeing Thanksgiving on the calendar page, then describing Thanksgiving to Odie]  Hello, what's this? Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! You see that, Odie? Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. That's the day people celebrate having food by eating as much of it as possible.

  [Odie grunts in question] 

  Garfield : Yes! That's the day when people try to eat every turkey, pumpkin, and cranberry on the face of the earth.

  [Odie spits out the calendar page that Garfield stuffed in his mouth earlier] 

  Garfield : It's a tradition. And you know how I LOOOVE tradition!

• Garfield : [Jon dumps a frozen turkey on the table]  Yum-yum, turkey on a stick.

• Grandma : Have you ever seen my split-second cranberry sauce?

  [she covers Garfield's eyes as she dumps a whole can of cranberry sauce into a bowl, then uncovers Garfield's eyes] 

  Grandma : Too late, ya blinked, Garfield.

  [laughs] 

  Grandma : And now, for the piece de resistance - pumpkin pie!

  Garfield : Skip the piece o'resistance, just gimmie a piece o'pie!

• Garfield : [plodding into the house after his vet appointment]  Oh, woe is me. I've been put on a diet, and I'm gonna die.

• Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, I need help.

  Garfield : Hm, understatement of the year.

• Dr. Liz Wilson : So Garfield, how's the diet? I see you're still the size of an aircraft carrier.

  [laughs briefly] 

  Dr. Liz Wilson : Well, as long as I'm here I may as well check you for vitamin deficiencies; I don't want you to become anemic.

  Garfield : Don't forget beri-beri, rickets, and scurvy, too, Doc.

• Jon Arbuckle : [putting on pants in his closet after Liz notices he's not wearing them]  Thanks for telling me I wasn't wearing any pants, Garfield.

  Garfield : Oh sure, blame it on the pet.

  Jon Arbuckle : [as he hurriedly staggers back to the door, trying to get a pant leg on]  Come on, I want you to be nice to my dinner guest.

  Garfield : First I have to be a fashion consultant, now I have to be an actor.

• Garfield : Now *this* is what Thanksgiving is all about.

  [shoving the groceries in Jon's face while he's driving] 

  Garfield : Thanksgiving is *cookies*! Thanksgiving is pie filling! Thanksgiving is *cole slaw*! Drive carefully, Jon; don't wanna bruise my kumquats. Now wait a minute, wh-where're we goin', Jon? Th-This isn't the way home.

  Jon Arbuckle : We're going to the vet, Garfield.

  [Garfield screams in agony, causing Jon to zig-zag recklessly and hit the curb twice in the next shot] 

• Garfield : Thanksgiving... humbug. What good is it if you're on a diet?

  [Goes to the stove counter and coats the vegetables with garlic powder sneakily] 

  Garfield : Huh, if I can't enjoy Thanksgiving, nobody will.

• Garfield : [after Liz permits him to skip his diet and start him on mild exercise]  I'm free, I'm free, I can eat! Oh, joy; oh, rapture; oh, no!

• Garfield : [seeing Jon thump a second frozen turkey on the counter]  Hey Jon, another frozen dinner.

  Jon Arbuckle : Everything's ruined, Garfield. What can I do? I'm doomed. Liz will never speak to me again.

• Jon Arbuckle : [Garfield drags out a phone]  Very funny, Garfield; I can't feed Liz this.

  Garfield : Jon, you nitwit!

  [drags out record album] 

  Jon Arbuckle : This is Grandma's favorite record, should I play it for Liz?

  [Garfield drags out heart shaped pillow] 

  Jon Arbuckle : This pillow Grandma crocheted is very comforting, Garfield, but it still doesn't solve the problem with dinner.

  [Garfield drags out a purple sweater] 

  Jon Arbuckle : I'm not cold, Garfield; why did you drag out the sweater Grandma made for me last Christmas?

  Garfield : Last chance!

  [takes out framed photo of Grandma] 

  Jon Arbuckle : I know, I'll call Grandma! She'll know what to do! Oh-ho, Jon, you're a genius!

  Garfield : If he had a brain he'd be dangerous.

• Jon Arbuckle : [seeing Garfield and Odie sitting on the couch lazily]  Well, it was a great day! And judging by the looks of you two and your bellies, I'd say you had a great day, too. I know one thing I'm thankful for today!

  Jon Arbuckle , Garfield : Grandma!

  [Odie barks] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Well, let's take a little walk and try to work off some of this food, boys.

  [Garfield groans and manages to scoot himself off the couch, but Odie can't get off because he ate too much Thanksgiving dinner] 

• Grandma : How about some sweet potatoes?

  [Garfield blows a raspberry] 

  Grandma : Oh now, come on, Garfield! You've never had Grandma's sweet potatoes.

  Garfield : This is true.

  Grandma : A cup of butter, a cup of brown sugar, and some marshmallows!

  Garfield : Starting to like 'em already!

• [last lines] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Come on, Odie, come on boy.

  [whistles, then realizes Odie's eaten too much] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Oh no, not you too. I suppose we'll have to put you on a diet as of right now.

  Garfield : [blows whistle, reenters wearing a camouflage cap]  All right, Odie, gimmie ten!

  [Odie barks and stands at attention, but smiles] 

  Garfield : And wipe that stupid smile off your face!

  [Odie snarls] 

  Garfield : Come on, soldier, I said down and ten!

  [Odie gets down and does push-ups] 

  Garfield : And one-and-two, and one-and-two! Are we having fun yet? One-and-two, and one-and-two!

• Grandma : Now, I'll just slip quietly out the door, Garfield. You tell that young lady of his that she couldn't find a better man than Jon, and she'd better not blow it, or she'll have to answer to me. Oh, and Garfield - eat a piece of pie for me.

  [leaves] 

  Garfield : [sighs as Grandma starts up her motorcycle and drives away]  They just don't make 'em like that anymore.

• Jon Arbuckle : Here, Garfield, have some food.

  [as he lowers Garfield's bowl containing a lettuce leaf] 

  Jon Arbuckle : According to your diet, you get this.

  Garfield : That's it? That's all, just one scraggly piece of lettuce?

  Jon Arbuckle : Oh, I'm sorry, Garfield. That's not what you get.

  Garfield : Well, I should hope not.

  Jon Arbuckle : [tears the lettuce in half]  You get HALF a leaf of lettuce.

  Garfield : [clearly dissatisfied]  That's better.

• Jon Arbuckle : Make yourself comfortable, Liz. I need to slip into the kitchen and take care of a few last-minute details.

  Garfield : Yeah, like finding something to eat.

• Garfield : [as Jon tries to hit on Liz]  I can see this relationship is off to a roaring stop.

• Garfield : [as Liz runs down a list of diet foods, and mentions fiber as Jon tries to hold his breath to implore Liz to date him]  Fiber's for sweaters!