- Charlie: My wife and I had an argument over whether or not I should have a vasectomy so we said we'd let the kids decide. I lost 13 - 12.
- Charlie: [after an altercation between Jimmy and Dek] Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, there's been a bit of an incident. It appears that someone's been given the correct change by one of the barmaids.
- [Referring to Jimmy]
- Dek: He's only your foster brother! He could have Hannibal Lector's DNA for all we know!