Scary Movie 3 (2003)
Anthony Anderson: Mahalik
Photos
Quotes
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Mahalik : I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week and this mornin' he woke up dead!
CJ : How the hell do you wake up dead?
Mahalik : Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep.
CJ : So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?
Mahalik : You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant.
CJ : No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.
Mahalik : But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool!
CJ : Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!
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George : You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
[puts hand up in the air]
George : and start livin' down here?
[puts hand down low]
Mahalik : Or what if we stop livin' over here
[puts his hand out to the side]
Mahalik : and move over there?
[puts his hand to the other side]
CJ : Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.
Mahalik : For what?
CJ : Mice.
Mahalik : I thought she had rats?
CJ : No, rats are outside, mice are inside.
Mahalik : But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
CJ : I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
Mahalik : That's because it's a rat, fool!
CJ : Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!
George : Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...
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Alien #1 : Wait please, we mean you no harm. We travel to your planet to find an evil little girl. We must destroy her before seven days.
George : You mean... You watched the video tape?
Alien #1 : Our satellite caught up what we thought was Pootie Tang, that was a week ago. And now our entire race will die, unless the girl is destroyed.
Tom : Aw, you see, they are peaceful.
Mahalik : If they so peaceful, man, why were they choking us a few minutes ago?
Alien #1 : Oh... that's how we say hello.
George : Well how do you guys say goodbye?
[an alien kicks George in the groin]
George : [in pain] I had to ask.
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Mahalik : I found their weakness. They're powerless without their heads!
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Mahalik : [George is wearing a white hoodie that makes him resemble a KKK member] George, the hood! Lose the hood!
George : I know, we're in the hood now!
Brenda Meeks : He's a dead man.
George : [as crowd boos] You guys feelin' me? In the hood?
[does what looks like a Heil Hitler salute]
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Mahalik : Yo George, you need something? I'll do anything for you... ANYTHING...
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Mahalik : Yo DJ, spin that shit!
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George : Why is there an open casket?
Cindy : George it's a wake.
George : She's alive, Sue your teacher is alive!
Cindy : No George she's dead!
George : No Brenda! Don't die on me!
[starts doing CPR and mouth to mouth ressatession]
George : [people starts attacking george]
Mahalik : Hey get away from him broad!
[starts punches while complete caous ensues]
George : [takes two wires] clear!
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Mahalik : [to the Aliens] So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago?
Alien #1 : Oh, that's how we say hello.
George : Then how do you say good-bye?
[the Alien kicks him in the crotch]
George : Oooh... I had to ask...
Alien #1 : If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee.
[he starts peeing out of his finger]
President Harris : Oooooh, we are not so much different after all...
[the President starts peeing out of his finger also]