- Richard Dawson: Name the first article of clothing you take off when you get home from work.
- Contestant: My underwear!
- [Audience busts out laughing]
- Richard Dawson: Next question, what time do you get off work?
- Contestant: [trying to solve the puzzle] A group of pill-pushers? (Whole studio cracks up)
- Pat Sajak: This is "Wheel of Fortune", Joe!
- Gene Rayburn: Doesn't she have pretty nipples... uh, pretty DIMPLES?
- [Whole studio busts out laughing]
- Richard Dawson: I said name a time that most people get up. And being the Einstein that you are, you said morning. Our survey said... zip! Now if that wasn't bad enough, I then said name a time that most people go to bed, and you said, of course. Night. Our survey said... 2!
- Richard Dawson: Name something you might accidentally leave on all night.
- Contestant: Your shoes.
- [audience laughs]
- Richard Dawson: I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Kenneth, but you are weird.
- Richard Dawson: Name an animal that has letters in its name.
- Contestant: Alligator.
- [audience starts laughing]
- Richard Dawson: During what month's pregnancy does a woman begin to look pregnant?
- Contestant: September.
- Bob Holness: What "O" is the generic word for any living animal plant, including bacteria and viruses?
- Contestant: Orgasm. Oh-!
- [audience laughter; Bob Holness looks at the camera with a shake of the head]
- Gene Rayburn: [interviewing an aged female contestant] Tell us about yourself.
- Contestant: I live in Orange County... I'm retard- I mean, retired...
- [Question is "Which of these abbreviations represents the computer storage capacity known as one thousand bytes?"]
- Contestant: I'm gonna go with B, kilobytes.
- Regis Philbin: Final answer?
- Contestant: Final answer.
- [Answer is locked in]
- Contestant: [blurting] I'm a fat man, Regis, my heart can't take it!
- [audience laughter]
- Regis Philbin: I'm just trying to help you sweat off a few pounds.