Ratchet & Clank (2002 Video Game)

Mikey Kelley: Ratchet

Quotes 

• Mayor : Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! Who are you? Mercenaries? Torturers? Assassins? I'll tell you anything! Here, take my infobot, it's all I got left.

  Clank : Sir, we're not assass...

  Ratchet : Hold on, let's see what he's got.

• R.Y.N.O. Salesman : RYNO for your robot - trade ya.

  Ratchet : Well... okay!

  Clank : Ratchet!

  Ratchet : Just kidding, he's not for sale. And what's a RYNO anyway?

  R.Y.N.O. Salesman : Rip Ya a New One.

  Ratchet : What did you just say to me?

  R.Y.N.O. Salesman : R-Y-N-O - Rip Ya a New One.

  Clank : Why, that's the most powerful missile launcher in the galaxy! I heard that it's worth a lot of bolts! He must have stolen it from the Blarg!

  R.Y.N.O. Salesman : Stolen? Look Trash Can, did I says anything about it being hot? Listen, you'd better watch your mouth or I'll...

  Ratchet : Wait, don't tell me - Rip Ya a New One.

• Ratchet : This isn't over, Qwark!

  Captain Qwark : No, but will be soon...

• Clank : [to a robo Qwark]  Excuse me captain, but we have more pressing issues. We urgently need your assistance.

  Ratchet : Clank?

  Clank : Yes?

  Ratchet : Do you notice anything unusual about Captain Qwark?

  Clank : Well I find the fact that he has a spring where his legs should be to be quite puzzling.

  Ratchet : And why do you think that is?

  Clank : Possibly an injury occurred while battling evil?

  Ratchet : This is't the real Captain Qwark, you numskull! It's a robot!

• Ratchet : Uh... hi? This is Ratchet for... uh... Gadgetron hoverboards. And if you... um...

  Clank : Yo dudes. For the freshest boards in the galaxy, check out the new XZ88, from Gadgetron! It's so hot, it's cool!

  Gadgetron CEO : I think I got the wrong guy... that was... um... something...

• Ratchet : Hey, look Plumbers Crack!

  Waterworker : What did you just say?

  Ratchet : I said er... look the Plumbers back!

  Waterworker : All right wise guy, shouldn't you be on one of them escape transports?

  Ratchet : Escape transports?

  Waterworker : Newsflash! Giant robots attacking! The escape transports are taking all the rich people of this darn dog planet.

  Ratchet : So why aren't you on one?

  Waterworker : Two words: Socioeconomic disparity.

• Skid McMarx : Anyway I'm having trouble getting back to my ship...

  [sees Sand Sharks] 

  Skid McMarx : er... due to my sprained ankle.

  Ratchet : Right...

• Helga : I'm supposed to give you a Svingshot, so you can svay to and fro like little insects!

  Ratchet : All right, let's see it.

  Helga : Not so fast! Today the two of you disgraced my obstacle course, so I am going to make you pay!

  Clank : But that prize is ours from the captain. That's not fair.

  Helga : Too bad, life's not fair.

• Bouncer : Hey hey hey! Press conference is over! Captain Qwark don't want no more reporters bugging him in his trailer!

  Ratchet : Oh... you see, my friend and I need to speak to the Captain about a matter of galactic security.

  Bouncer : You mean you and your walking camera? You paparazzi make me sick! Now beat it!

  Clank : But sir, I'm sure that Captain Qwark will understand once we...

  Bouncer : No, no, save it. I know how it works. You convince me to let you in. You snap a picture of the captain in his underpants.

  Ratchet : ...underpants?

  Bouncer : Then, you sell the picture to the Info-Tabloids for a million bolts!

  Ratchet : You got it all wrong!

  Bouncer : Meanwhile, I'm stuck here making six bolts an hour and I have to listen to a lecture from that cheapskate Qwark! So you don't get in unless I get a kickback, in advance!

• Waterworker : Well, well, well. Looks like he's good for something after all. Here, take this.

  Ratchet : What is it?

  Waterworker : It detects underground bolts. My grandfather designed it to suck up loose change on any planet in the galaxy. What a cheap old man he was...

• Ultimate Supreme Executive Drek : So, it has come to this. Once I step on this ignition switch a countdown will commence, the end of which signals the destruction of your pitiful world.

  Clank : There must be another way to make a home for your people.

  Ultimate Supreme Executive Drek : You think that's what this is about? Who do you think polluted our last world? I did. This is about one thing and one thing only - cash, and lots of it! You see, I've been paid for every square inch of my new world. Once the inhabitants move in, I will begin polluting this world as well, then the whole thing starts all over again. Ah, brilliant.

  Clank : Why you... you... evil little...

  [the timer starts] 

  Ratchet : Save it Clank. We have to stop that timer.

• Clank : Er I wonder what that infobot is for?

  Ratchet : Maybe it can replace you.

• Ratchet : Hey, you're that robot guy aren't you?

  Big Al : Actually I build robots. I myself am not actually a robot guy, per se.

  Ratchet : [to Clank]  What a nerd.

  Clank : I like him.

• Ratchet : Jowai Resort, Pokitaru!

  Clank : I knew it.

  Ratchet : Oh, come on! Switch off your nerd circuits and have some fun! Look, we'll go just long enough to pick up the O2 mask.

  Clank : Perhaps the extra oxygen will allow your brain to function properly!

  Ratchet : Yeah, and maybe the salt water will rust your mouth shut!