Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Elliott Gould: Reuben Tishkoff

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Quotes 

• Linus Caldwell : [Linus is trying to convince everyone that Danny was actually the leader of "The Benedict Job"]  Well, if any of you had a problem, who did you go to?

  Basher Tarr , Turk Malloy , Virgil Malloy , Reuben Tishkoff , Livingston Dell , Yen , Frank Catton : [simultaneously]  Rusty.

  Danny Ocean : Thanks, Linus.

• Reuben Tishkoff : [to a fortune teller. As he is having his palm read by her, he turns around to see Terry Benedict with two enforcers]  This? You couldn't see *this*?

• Reuben Tishkoff : I can handle Saul's share.

  Danny Ocean : You don't have to do that.

  Reuben Tishkoff : Who would I talk to if you're all dead?

  Danny Ocean : That's a good point. Alright, I owe 10. Amazing?

  Yen : [speaks in Mandarin] 

  Rusty Ryan : [chuckles]  Yeah, but it's a nice place.

  Livingston Dell : So that comes to?

  Reuben Tishkoff : 97, give or take.

  Rusty Ryan : He didn't find us on his own. Someone helped him.

  Reuben Tishkoff : Another thief.

  Linus Caldwell : Well, there's no-one we'd know that would violate rule number one.

  Danny Ocean : What we do know is we need a job. We need a high paying job.

  Linus Caldwell : Well, now we're too hot to be working anywhere in this country.

  Danny Ocean : So we go abroad. How 'bout we go to...

  Rusty Ryan : [cuts in]  We're on the 5:00.

  Danny Ocean : Good. We're we going?

  Rusty Ryan : Amsterdam.

  Danny Ocean : Amsterdam, it is. Clock's running guys. Let's go.

  Linus Caldwell : I've never been to Amsterdam.

  Turk Malloy : I hear German girls are really hot.

• Danny Ocean : How much is everyone short?

  Turk Malloy : 14.

  Virgil Malloy : You're kidding me! You spent all but 5 million?

  Turk Malloy : Yes! Are you going to start on me with that too? You don't know what it's like starting something from scratch!

  Virgil Malloy : Well, with interest, I'm short 7.

  Frank Catton : Eight.

  Linus Caldwell : Well, I spent a million on talent development, so I guess that leaves me at 7. Boy, that interest just kills you, man!

  Basher Tarr : I'm light 9.

  Livingston Dell : What's the interest?

  Reuben Tishkoff : 6.

  Livingston Dell : Then I owe 6.

  Turk Malloy : What?

  Livingston Dell : I've been living with my parents.

  Rusty Ryan : I owe 25.

  [everyone looks at him, he chuckles wryly] 

  Rusty Ryan : Hotels, man.

• Reuben Tishkoff : [banging on the bathroom door]  Frank come on let me in.

  Turk Malloy : How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?

  Reuben Tishkoff : Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.

• Reuben Tishkoff : [after Linus complains about the freak]  Are you hosting a telethon we don't know about?

• Reuben Tishkoff : Who's the guy on the $100 bill?

  Linus Caldwell : Adams.

  Danny Ocean : John Travolta.

  Reuben Tishkoff : Yeah, he said every problem is an opportunity in disguise.

• [last lines] 

  Reuben Tishkoff : If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved.

  Terry Benedict : You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.

• Danny Ocean : So how much do we all owe, each?

  Reuben Tishkoff : $17.34 million. Assuming Benedict gives us Prime Plus One, which I doubt. Figure 19 to be safe.

• Rusty Ryan : Anybody remember that scene in Miller's Crossing when John Turturro begs for his life?

  Reuben Tishkoff : Sure, "Look into your heart."

  [pause] 

  Reuben Tishkoff : I cry every time.

  Danny Ocean : What?

  Rusty Ryan : We have no line of sight.

• Reuben Tishkoff : Terry, I can't predict the future. I pay professionals to do that, and even they get it wrong sometimes.

• Virgil Malloy : Smoke the freak out.

  Danny Ocean : Yeah.

  Turk Malloy : Smoke the freak out.

  Linus Caldwell : Hey!

  Turk Malloy : What?

  Linus Caldwell : Do we have to use that term?

  Turk Malloy : What term?

  Linus Caldwell : "Freak."

  [pause] 

  Linus Caldwell : I mean the National Institute of Mental Health estimates 5.6 percent of adults develop agraphoriaphobia...

  [unable to pronounce] 

  All : Agoraphobia.

  Linus Caldwell : Whatever. I'm just saying, I mean, do we...? I don't think we need to be an organization that labels people.

  Basher Tarr : Oh, now we're an organization?

  Linus Caldwell : Would you call Emily Dickinson a freak?

  Reuben Tishkoff : Are you hosting a telethon we don't know about?

  Virgil Malloy : Who's Emily Dickinson?

  Linus Caldwell : Am I the only one who feels funny about stealing from a... you know, a handicapped guy?