- Fredrika Arnfeldt: [watching her grandmother play solitaire] If you cheated a little, it would come out.
- Madame Arnfeldt: Solitaire is the only thing in life that demands absolute honesty.
- Madame Arnfeldt: Don't squeeze your bosoms against the chair, dear! It'll stunt their growth, and then where would you be?
- Madame Arnfeldt: Child, I have come to give you your advice for the day.
- Fredrika Arnfeldt: Yes, Grandmother?
- Madame Arnfeldt: Never marry, or even dally with, a Scandinavian.
- Fredrika Arnfeldt: Why not?
- Madame Arnfeldt: They are all insane.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Hello, mother.
- Madame Arnfeldt: And to what do I owe the honor of this visit?
- Desiree Armfeldt: I just thought I'd pop out and see you both. Is that so surprising?
- Madame Arnfeldt: Yes.
- Desiree Armfeldt: You're in one of your bitchy moods, I see.
- Madame Arnfeldt: If you've come to take Fredrika back, the answer is no. I do not object to the immorality of your life; merely to its sloppiness. Since I have been tidy enough to have acquired a sizeable mansion and a fleet of servants, it seems only common sense that my granddaughter should reap the advantages of it. Isn't that so, child?
- Fredrika Arnfeldt: I really don't know, Grandmother.
- Madame Arnfeldt: Oh, yes, you do, dear.
- Madame Arnfeldt: To lose a husband, or a lover or two, during one's lifetime can be vexing - but to lose one's teeth is a catastrophe!
- Henrik Egerman: [while riding a bicycle with Fredrika] Miss Arnfeldt, for the past 11 months, although I am preparing to enter the ministry... I... I... I've been madly, hopelessly in love with my stepmother! Do you realize how many mortal sins that involves?
- Madame Arnfeldt: Are you addressing me, sir - whoever you may be?
- Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm: I am, madam.
- Madame Arnfeldt: Then be so kind as to repeat yourself. Judging from the level of the conversation so far, you can hardly expect me to have been paying attention.
- Petra: It's a very short way from the fling that's for fun to the thigh pressing under the table; It's a very short day 'til you're stuck with just one, or it has to be done on the sly; In the meanwhile; There are mouths to be kissed before mouths to be fed; And there's many a tryst and there's many a bed; There's a lot I'll have missed, but I'll not have been dead when I die! And a person should celebrate everything passing by!
- Madame Arnfeldt: Child, will you do me a favor?
- Fredrika Arnfelt: Of course, Grandmother.
- Madame Arnfeldt: Will you tell me what it's all for? Having outlived my own illusions by centuries, it would be soothing at least to pretend to share some of yours.
- Fredrika Arnfeldt: Grandmother, I've watched and I've watched, and I haven't noticed the night smiling.
- Madame Arnfeldt: Young eyes are not ideal for watching; they stray too much. The night has already smiled twice.
- Fredrika Arnfeldt: It has? Twice? For the young and for the fools?
- Madame Arnfeldt: The smile for the fools was particularly broad tonight.
- Desiree Armfeldt: [in her role during a performance of "Woman of the World"] Dignity. We women have a right to commit any crime toward our husbands, our lovers, our sons - as long as we do not hurt their dignity. We should make men's dignity our best ally, and caress it, cradle it, speak tenderly to it, and handle it as our most delightful toy. Then the man is in our hands, at our feet... or anywhere else we momentarily wish him to be.
- Frederik Egerman: They told me at the theater where to find you.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Fredrik!
- Frederik Egerman: Hello, Desiree.
- Desiree Armfeldt: So it was you! I peered and peered and said, "Is it? Can it be? Is it possible?" Then of course, when you walked out after five minutes, I was sure.
- Frederik Egerman: Was my record that bad?
- Desiree Armfeldt: Terrible. You walked out on my Hedda in Helsingborg, and my sensational Phaedra in Eskilstuna.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Your little bride... so, you took her home, tucked her up in her cot, with her rattle and her wooly penguin!
- Frederik Egerman: Figuratively speaking.
- Desiree Armfeldt: And then you came to me.
- Frederik Egerman: I wish you'd ask me why.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Why did you come to me?
- Frederik Egerman: For old times' sake? For curiosity? To boast about my wife? To complain about her, perhaps? Oh, hell, why am I being such a lawyer about it? This afternoon, while I was taking my nap...
- Desiree Armfeldt: So you take afternoon naps now!
- Frederik Egerman: Hush! I had the most delightful dream.
- Desiree Armfeldt: About?
- Frederik Egerman: You.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Ah. What did we do?
- Frederik Egerman: Well, as a matter of fact, we were in that little hotel in Malmo. We'd been basking in the sun all day...
- Desiree Armfeldt: When my back got so burned, it was an agony to lie down, so you...
- Frederik Egerman: As vivid as... well, very vivid. So you see, my motives for coming here are what might be called... mixed.
- Desiree Armfeldt: [Frederik has just finished telling Desiree about his wife, who is still a virgin after eleven months of marriage] A virgin?
- Frederik Egerman: A virgin.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Eleven months.
- Frederik Egerman: Eleven... months.
- Desiree Armfeldt: No wonder you dreamed of me!
- Frederik Egerman: Well, at least it was you I dreamed of, which would indicate a kind of retroactive fidelity, doesn't it?
- Desiree Armfeldt: At least!
- Frederik Egerman: Desiree... would it seem insensitive if I were to ask you...
- [he stops himself]
- Frederik Egerman: I can't say it.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Say it, darling.
- Frederik Egerman: Would you...?
- [he gestures to the bedroom]
- Desiree Armfeldt: Of course. What are old friends for?
- Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm: Why don't you pay a visit to Marta's little school friend, Anne?
- Countess Charlotte Malcolm: A-ha.
- Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm: She probably has no idea what her husband's up to.
- Countess Charlotte Malcolm: And I could enlighten her? Poor Carl-Magnus; are you that jealous?
- Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm: A civilized man can tolerate his wife's infidelity, but when it comes to his mistress, a man becomes a tiger!
- Countess Charlotte Malcolm: As opposed, of course, to a goat in rut. Ah, well... if I'm back in two hours, that still leaves us three, right?
- Count Carl-Magnus Malcolm: You're a good wife, Charlotte. The best.
- Countess Charlotte Malcolm: That's a comforting thought to take to town with me, dear. It just may keep me from cutting my throat on the tram.
- Desiree Armfeldt: [Upon meeting her lover's wife] Countess Malcolm, I presume.
- Countess Charlotte Malcolm: You do indeed, Miss Arnfeldt.
- Desiree Armfeldt: Shall I tell you why I really invited you here? When we met again and we made love, I thought, "Maybe here it is at last. A chance to turn back, to find some sort of coherent existence after so many years of muddle." Of course, there is your wife... but I thought perhaps - just perhaps, you might be in need of rescue, too?
- Frederik Egerman: When my eyes are open, and I look at you, I see a woman that I have loved for a long time, who entranced me all over again when I came to her rooms, who gives me such genuine pleasure, that, in spite of myself, I came here for the sheer delight of being with her again. A woman who could rescue me? Of course. But when my eyes are not open, which is most of the time, all I see is a girl in a pink dress teasing a canary, running through a sunlit garden to hug me at the gate, as if I'd come from Timbuktu, instead of the municipal courthouse three blocks away!
- [the music begins. Desiree sings "Send In The Clowns." Just before the last verse, Frederik speaks]
- Frederik Egerman: Desiree, I'm sorry. I never should have come. To flirt with rescue when one has no intention of being saved... Do try to forgive me.
- [He leaves her. Desiree sings the last verse in spotlight. The light fades out on her weeping quietly]
- Frederik Egerman: [Frederik has just played Russian Roulette - and almost lost. Desiree is the first person he sees when he wakes up] I don't suppose this is my heavenly reward, is it?
- Desiree Armfeldt: Hardly, dear, with me here.