- Sandy Beaches: I work as an exotic dancer at night, and days for the post office. I've driven the mail naked on my pet moose, Ted, which is always good for some free Brewskies, eh!
- Melanie Whipple: So they ask me, 'Where is the weirdest place you have ever made love?' And I said, 'In my butt, Bob!' I mean that's a place, and it sure was weird. Ouch! Gross!
- Karen Carpentier: Haven't you noticed how fat these girls are? I've never seen so much blubber in my whole life.
- Habakuk Akbara Al Amina Muhammed Osama Rasouli: I come from Falafel, and the proud country of Hateamericanstan.