Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004 Video Game)
David Cross: Zero
Photos
Quotes
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[The usual six men that are planning the heist are in the planning room in the casino. CJ is at the front giving out instructions]
Carl Johnson : OK, we got the bikes. And Woozie's taken care of the uniforms. Now, we just gotta get an armoured van and re-spray it with the Caligula's Casino logo.
Woozie : Why don't we steal one while it's on its rounds? That way we can make some money too.
Carl Johnson : No, I don't want to get the crew caught up in some street level jacking - it could get ugly.
Zero : I... I have an idea? Um... Have you ever seen those helicopters they use to lift heavy loads?
Su Xi Mu : Yeah, they call 'em 'sky cranes'. We could lift the whole truck and take them to someplace safe.
Woozie : Then we need to steal a sky crane. Unfortunately I'm not a pilot.
Zero : No, me neither.
Su Xi Mu : Hey, don't look at me.
Assistant : Or me.
Carl Johnson : Shit. I'll fly it, then. We can re-spray it at the airstrip.
Zero : Yeah, Carl. It'll be just like fighting Berkley, only bigger!
Carl Johnson : Yeah, thanks for that.
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Zero : As long as we have opposable thumbs, we will fight you!
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Carl Johnson : Hey, what up Z!
Zero : Nothing is up Carl, apart from my blood pressure, and the imminent collapse of my hopes and dreams.
Carl Johnson : ...Why?
Zero : As usual, the forces of darkness have triumphed over good. Life is nothing but misery, briefly interspersed with agony.
Carl Johnson : Z, whatchoo on? Whatever it is, you need to reduce the dosage!
Zero : Exuse me, but I never take drugs. We all know drugs are for losers, and/or sex maniacs, and right now, sex is the last thing on my mind.
Carl Johnson : Thank God for that!
Zero : Berkley is back!
Carl Johnson : Ohhh, Berkley. Who the fuck is Berkley?
Zero : A man I once beat in fair competition. A man litterally obsessed with revenge!
Carl Johnson : Oh, you put hands on him?
Zero : No! Please! I never initiate violence.
Carl Johnson : Ohhh, I know. You knocked his bitch!
Zero : No. I won the prize in the science fair. First prize, that is.
Carl Johnson : And now he wanna pop you? HAHAHA, and they say gangbangers is petty and small-minded!
[CJ hears a beeping sound]
Carl Johnson : Eh what's that bleepin' sound?
Zero : It's him... we shall fight to the end!
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[CJ, Woozie, Suzie, one of Woozie's assistants, Zero and the occupant of the room are in the planning room in the casino. CJ is standing in front of the layout of Caligula's Casino]
Carl Johnson : All right, here's the plan. It's all about the art of deception. While I get as much heat on me as possible, y'all get away with the green.
Zero : Question: how does the Mafia normally move cash out of Caligula's?
Carl Johnson : Bingo! Stripes for Mr. Zero here.
Occupant : Ha hey! Good job, you little ass kisser!
[pats Zero on the back]
Zero : [moans in pain]
Carl Johnson : So, we're going to steal ourselves an armoured car and re-spray it so it looks like one of their regular trucks.
Su Xi Mu : What about the police escorts? Whenever they move cash around they use police motorcycles as outriders.
Carl Johnson : Exactly what I was thinking. C'mon, come with me, and we're gonna go get some cop wheels...
[Cut TO CJ and Suzie outside the casino]
Carl Johnson : You get the Packer, hit the Julius Thruway and keep moving.
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Zero : Curse you, Berkley! Curse yoooooou!