- Indiana Jones: Look at that sunset.
- Remy: It's beautiful. It's magnificent. It's... in the wrong place!
- Donald Parks: You don't appear to know much about trains.
- Indiana Jones: Well, actually, I know a lot about trains. I spend my summers working shoveling coal on trains but that really doesn't teach you much about time tables here in the middle of Africa.
- Indiana Jones: Six days?
- Big Mac: Son, the good Lord made the world in six days, what's blowing up a cannon compared to that?
- Indiana Jones: So how did you all end up in the same unit?
- Donald Parks: All us 'creaky old geezers'? When war broke out, nobody would have us, so we formed our own.
- Frederick Selous: Bad thing about growing old, my boy, is the world thinks you're used up, no good to anyone. Bit of a waste, really. You spend your life gaining wisdom and experience, and then nobody wants it.
- Indiana Jones: Yeah, that's great, but we're talking about blowing up a train.
- Donald Parks: True, we're not as fast as we used to be, and the bones do creak from time to time.
- Frederick Selous: [as he and Birdy steal Indy's marshmallow] But age and treachery will always triumph over youth and speed.
- Big Mac: [amid laughter] Thanks, kid!
- Indiana Jones: I can't believe we're risking our lives for toilet paper.
- Donald Parks: Leave no outhouse unplundered.
- Indiana Jones: [expecting an explosion] What happened?
- Birdy: Nothing.
- Indiana Jones: [shouting] I know nothing happened!
- Indiana Jones: [putting on a shoveler's uniform] Ok, what do I do when I get there?
- Frederick Selous: Do you always have to have a plan?
- Indiana Jones: It helps!
- Frederick Selous: What are you doing?
- Indiana Jones: We're going back, aren't we? We can't let them have that gun.
- Frederick Selous: [Donald gives a thumbs up] Yes, of course. You wait for my orders next time.
- Indiana Jones: What, are you crazy? That's got to be five hundred yards. Nobody could make that shot.
- Donald Parks: Not true. I'd say there are at least... three people in the world who could.
- Frederick Selous: [taking aim] I used to be the best shot in Africa once... according to you.
- Remy: Mon Dieu it's a lady!
- Margaret Trappe: [glancing at Remy's disguise] That's more than I can say for you, fatso!
- Frederick Selous: Does your mother know you've become a courier for the Germans?
- Margaret Trappe: It was her idea!
- Remy: Look what you've got me into!
- Indiana Jones: Oh great, so now suddenly it's all my fault?
- Remy: It's not suddenly your fault, it's always been your fault!
- Remy: [finally catching on to Selous' plan] It's a kidnapping!
- Indiana Jones: You had this planned all along.
- Frederick Selous: Of course.
- Indiana Jones: But why drag us into it?
- Frederick Selous: I needed you. You're my good luck.
- Frederick Selous: [escaping in a stolen automobile] Watch out for those motorcycles.
- Donald Parks: They'd better watch out for me.
- Remy: [their balloon is losing height] We are too heavy! We must loose some weight!
- Gen. Jan Christian Smuts: I suggest diet and exercise.
- Gen. Jan Christian Smuts: I suggest you patch those holes.
- Indiana Jones: We did kidnap my father. It's a nightmare!
- Colonel Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck: [roasting a large termite] The secret is toasting it lightly. If it gets too close to the flame, the outside goes black and the center runs out.
- Remy: I hate when that happens.
- Indiana Jones: So why do the British want you so badly?
- Colonel Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck: I'm a military genius.
- Indiana Jones: [suppressing laughter] There's no sense of being modest.
- Colonel Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck: No.
- Indiana Jones: Nice shot.
- Margaret Trappe: I was aiming at your head.
- Indiana Jones: Well then I take it back.
- [Indy's attempts to feed his prisoner are rebuffed]
- Margaret Trappe: I think one bite was quite enough - as was your company. I'd like my gag back, please.