Photos
Quotes
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Texas Ranger : [complaining about doing community service] When do we get to stop doing this, Grandma?
Lucy Bobby : Well, I don't know, honey. When are you boys going to stop tossing me the radio in the bathtub?
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Chip : I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker : Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger : I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr. : Yeah!
Ricky Bobby : Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr. : Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby : Come on!
Walker : I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger : Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr. : Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby : Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker : Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip : What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger : Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
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Ricky Bobby : How was school today, boys?
Walker : I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.
[Chip is startled]
Ricky Bobby : Sounds like a good day. How 'bout you, TR?
Texas Ranger : The teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C.
Cal Naughton, Jr. : Bingo.
Ricky Bobby : Nice.
Texas Ranger : She said, "No, you're wrong." I said, "You got a lumpy butt." She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants.
Cal Naughton, Jr. : I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There's no shame in that.
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Walker : Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!
Texas Ranger : One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!
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Walker : [the boys are running around when they should be in Sunday school] ANARCHY! ANARCHY!
Texas Ranger : I don't know what that means, but I LOVE it!
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Texas Ranger : You look old, Granny are you gonna die today?
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Texas Ranger : Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?
Reese Bobby : That's a good call.
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Ricky Bobby : Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin' wife, Carley.
Carley Bobby : [raises hands] Woo!
Cal Naughton, Jr. : Mhmm!
Walker , Texas Ranger : Ow.
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Texas Ranger : Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
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Texas Ranger : Aw, Grandma, not my prison shank!
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Texas Ranger : [after Reese getting in an argument with an Applebee's waitress] Please let us not resolve our problems with fighting.
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Texas Ranger : Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather.
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Texas Ranger : Hey there, Popeye!
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Texas Ranger : Shut those mutts up before I cook 'em and eat 'em!