Kaamelott (2004–2009)

Thomas Cousseau: Lancelot, chevalier du Lac, Lancelot, Lancelot du Lac, Lancelot, Chevalier du Lac, Lancelot - Chevalier du Lac, Lancelot - chevalier du lac

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lancelot : How much is a polymorphie potion?

  Merlin, enchanteur : Depends. Who do you want to change into?

  Lancelot : A famous person.

  Merlin, enchanteur : I changed into Julius Cesar for a party once. I won't tell you about the evening, though.

• Arthur, roi de Bretagne : [to Guethenoc]  I've never even spoken to your daughter!

  Madenn : Yes, you did at that village dance. You plucked a ladybird from my hair and asked if it was my sister.

  Perceval, chevalier du pays de Galles : Yeah!

  Lancelot : That's romantic!

• Lancelot : Fear not, Sire, I will protect the queen from the ferocity of the beasts of the night.

• Lancelot : If your goal is to seduce women, all you have to do is become a chevalier.

• Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Oh, yeah, that reminds me. I need a chevalier for a mission of confidence.

  Lancelot : A chevalier worthy of confidence? Won't be easy. What's the mission?

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : To watch over the queen while I'm away.

  Lancelot : Hmm.

  [thinks] 

  Lancelot : Well, I'll do it.

• Arthur, roi de Bretagne : [Arthur is questioning Lancelot about his conduct towards the Queen in the King's absence]  So, when you're alone with the Queen, do you talk about me or not?

  [pause] 

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : You don't want to answer.

  Lancelot : I'm trying to decide, sire, which would make you more angry.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Either really.

• Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Have you, er... Did you, er... ever take a vow of celibacy?

  Lancelot : Pardon?

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Just a question.

  Lancelot : Soon, sire, you will have proof that I did not take a vow of celibacy.

• Lancelot : The reason we've called you here is that we have a serious problem.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Excalibur has been stolen.

  Venec : Excalibur? Your magic sword?

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Exactly.

  Venec : So you called me here because I'm the chief thief?

  Lancelot : That's right.

  Venec : Well, let me have a look

  [brings out a diary] 

  Venec : Yeah, yeah, they were my guys.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : You told them to steal Excalibur?

  Venec : I told them to steal stuff, I didn't specify Excalibur!

• Karadoc, chevalier de Vannes : [Lancelot has just returned from a meeting with the King and Père Blaise to assess his heroic activities during the past week]  How did it go?

  Perceval, chevalier du pays de Galles : Are they happy?

  Lancelot : I didn't have much this week. I saved an old man and his two sons from a forest fire.

  Perceval, chevalier du pays de Galles : And the King wasn't impressed?

  Lancelot : He's used to better from me.

  Karadoc, chevalier de Vannes : Well that's all right, he's used to nothing at all from us.

• Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Lots of complaints?

  Lancelot : About a dozen.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : This is so stupid, this whole complaints thing.

  Lancelot : What do you mean?

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : You tell the people they can come and complain to the king. They're not idiots, they come and complain.

• Lancelot : [regarding the chastity belt Arthur insists his wife wear]  Think of it as traditional.

  Guenièvre : Yeah, right, traditional. I have to walk around all day padlocked in an iron contraption.

• Guenièvre : I don't have anything against tradition. If I have to wear it, I will.

  Lancelot : It's just so people don't think he has no authority over you.

  Guenièvre : I know, that's why I shout.

  Lancelot : Well, what we could do is, you wear it all day so people see you have it and then at night, I'll come and see you discreetly and unpadlock it so you can have a peaceful night.

  Guenièvre : That's kind of you.

• Guenièvre : Come on ! I am sure that you darken the picture. You are not that old!

  Merlin, enchanteur : I am still and all nearly 884...

  Lancelot : How old?

  Merlin, enchanteur : 884 years old. In three weeks.

  Lancelot : Gosh!

  Guenièvre : How is it possible?

  Merlin, enchanteur : I am half demon. Demons are not bloody the same. Besides, in demonic calendar, I am about seven years old and I will be allowed a moogriave.

  Lancelot : What's that ?

  Merlin, enchanteur : A moogriave ? It's like a puppy, but really ugly!

• Arthur, roi de Bretagne : That's an excellent battle plan.

  Lancelot : Perfect.

  Léodagan, roi de Carmélide : Hmm. The last time we fought the vandals we had a perfect plan. As I recall we came home with our tail between our legs...

  Lancelot : That was Karadoc.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : While trying to catch his horse he strayed into the enemy camp.

  Léodagan, roi de Carmélide : Oh yes, that was it. That story went completely out of my head.