Kaamelott (2004–2009)

Loïc Varraut: Venec, marchand d'esclaves, Venec

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Venec is still boasting about his products] 

  Venec : [showing small toothed pliers]  This is part of what I call the travel range. When you are out and you don't want to carry all the other stuff around with you, you take this.

  Léodagan, roi de Carmélide : And that's for?

  Venec : You chop off a finger at the first phalanx.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Well, that's less vicious anyway.

  Bohort, chevalier : Less vicious?

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Compared with everything else.

  Venec : It is progressive. One phalanx, another phalanx, if that does not work, you return to the first finger, you take out another phalanx... Anyway, it comes with a booklet which explains it all.

  Léodagan, roi de Carmélide : We can always take four or five of them, not a bad investment.

  Venec : There we go, the whole tour. There is also this...

  [brings out large shears] 

  Venec : It is a beautiful tool, too.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : What do you cut with that?

  Venec : Whatever you like really, but it's rather for anything genital.

  Bohort, chevalier : Do you mind if I vomit?

• Lancelot : The reason we've called you here is that we have a serious problem.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Excalibur has been stolen.

  Venec : Excalibur? Your magic sword?

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Exactly.

  Venec : So you called me here because I'm the chief thief?

  Lancelot : That's right.

  Venec : Well, let me have a look

  [brings out a diary] 

  Venec : Yeah, yeah, they were my guys.

  Arthur, roi de Bretagne : You told them to steal Excalibur?

  Venec : I told them to steal stuff, I didn't specify Excalibur!