Kaamelott (2004–2009)
Anne Girouard: Guenièvre, femme d'Arthur, Guenièvre, Guenièvre - Femme d'Arthur
Photos
Quotes
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[Arthur is confronted by certain Knights who reproach him for his obstinacy to refuse the practice of torture. He reads a parchment, hardly lending his ear to the words of his wife]
Guenièvre : Today I had the rose bush in the rear courtyard pruned because it really needed it.
[Arthur doesn't react]
Guenièvre : Why don't you tell me about your day?
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Wait, it takes time to appreciate yours, not too many emotions in one go!
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Guenièvre : [talking about her phobia of birds] I never said it was logical.
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : You were right.
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Guenièvre : It seems to me that we should have sides of pork for the visit of the Duc de Gorlais, it's less classy than game, though.
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[Arthur is explaining to Guenièvre the workings of a curious utensil]
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : So you put this end into an orifice.
Guenièvre : An orifice?
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : There's a choice but classically, it is, it... Then, you prick the bottom of the rat with the needle - right, this is a stuffed rat but it is just to show you! - the rat goes into the orifice and eats everything.
[Arthur smiles observing the effects of his talk on his wife, becomes as uncomfortable about it as her]
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Yeah. You're right. It's nicer just to talk about our days.
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Séli, Guenièvre's mother : You know, the roof of your castle's falling apart.
Léodagan, roi de Carmélide : She's an expert on carpentry now.
Séli, Guenièvre's mother : I was sitting here at breakfast and a bird fell in my lap.
Guenièvre : A bird?
[runs out of the room in a panic]
Séli, Guenièvre's mother : What did I say?
Léodagan, roi de Carmélide : Something stupid.
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Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Oh, no. I hate this habit of bringing breakfast up to bed.
Angharad, Guenièvre's maid : I don't like it either. Madame has no idea how much work we have.
Guenièvre : It happens like that in Rome.
Angharad, Guenièvre's maid : In Rome, the houses are flat. Servants don't have to lug trays up six flights of stairs.
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Guenièvre : Say. Isn't today your training with the maître d'armes?
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : [half asleep] I don't know. I don't remember what day it is.
The Maître d'Armes : [from outside] Ha ha! I'm waiting for you, your Majesty. Unless you want me to tell everyone you're nothing but a big queer who pisses in his armour at the thought of fighting.
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : [without opening his eyes] Yeah, I think it's today.
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Goustan, Le Cruel : The problem in Carmélide, the demographic decline.
Guenièvre : Well, if you just chop people's heads off arbitrarily.
Séli, Guenièvre's mother : That's bound to have an effect on depopulation.
Goustan, Le Cruel : I wonder where all those bloody peasants go.
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : They all come here. They chose between The Cruel and The Just.
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Guenièvre : I don't have anything against tradition. If I have to wear it, I will.
Lancelot : It's just so people don't think he has no authority over you.
Guenièvre : I know, that's why I shout.
Lancelot : Well, what we could do is, you wear it all day so people see you have it and then at night, I'll come and see you discreetly and unpadlock it so you can have a peaceful night.
Guenièvre : That's kind of you.
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Arthur, roi de Bretagne : When I return, we'll take it off.
Guenièvre : What's the point? Even if you lost the key it wouldn't change your habits.
Arthur, roi de Bretagne : Don't change the subject!
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Guenièvre : Come on ! I am sure that you darken the picture. You are not that old!
Merlin, enchanteur : I am still and all nearly 884...
Lancelot : How old?
Merlin, enchanteur : 884 years old. In three weeks.
Lancelot : Gosh!
Guenièvre : How is it possible?
Merlin, enchanteur : I am half demon. Demons are not bloody the same. Besides, in demonic calendar, I am about seven years old and I will be allowed a moogriave.
Lancelot : What's that ?
Merlin, enchanteur : A moogriave ? It's like a puppy, but really ugly!
