Richard E. Grant: Preston
Quotes
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Preston : It's the real Prince. The genuine article.
Prince : Yes, my friends, I have returned to you at this, our darkest hour. So tell me Winston, what exactly is Lord Dargis up to?
Winston : He intends to level our homes and kill us all.
Prince : O... kay. Well, in that case, I decree that we pack our bags and get our scraggy bottoms out of here. Perhaps to the castle next door.
Garfield : [turns to leave] Oh boy.
Nigel : Well, that was inspirational.
Bolero : Brilliant.
McBunny : I am so fired up.
Garfield : [walking back] You know, I believe we can do better.
Preston : I thought you were leaving.
Garfield : Hey. Button the beak, Froot Loops, or I'll stick that thing on backwards. Look, Lord Doofus is just another bully. And what do we do to bullies?
Meenie : Well, generally, we run from them.
Garfield : [confident] No, we don't leave. We stand and we kick royal butt. Trust me, if you beastsssss can bake a two-cheese lasagna, you can beat Dargis.
Preston : Well, do you have a plan, Garfield?
Garfield : Tell you what. For the duration of this battle I would prefer to be called "G-Cat". And *we*...
[indicating Prince]
Garfield : ... have *two* plans.
Prince : [realizing] Oh teamwork.
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Nigel : Got it. Could have just come down and told me that, couldn't he? Alright, listen up. Barnyard newsflash. I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Christophe , Bolero , Eenie , McBunny : The bad news.
Nigel : Lord Dargis just threw Prince in the river.
[animals panic]
Winston : Okay, give me the good news.
Nigel : He was in a lovely picnic basket.
Eenie : If he throws us in the river, we'll never survive!
Christophe : You're ducks, you could swim.
Eenie : Oh.
Preston : [enters the barnyard with a scroll] Winston, I'm next in line for the throne.
Bolero : Uh-oh. This could get ugly.
Preston : [rolls out the scroll] I have here a new list of rules for governance.
Winston : Preston, I hardly think that's necessary.
Preston : Rule number one. The barnyard animals congregate entirely too close to the castle. We house pets need our space.
McBunny : Oh, you've got enough space, laddie, right between your ears!
[animals laugh]
Preston : You take that back! I command you! As your new king...
Winston : Look. There's still a chance Prince may find his way back here. In the meantime, Claudius, you go into the castle and find out what Dargis is up to.
I, Claudius : I'm on it. I'm your mouse on the inside.
Winston : I'll see what I can learn from my end.
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Winston : Oyez, oyez. Prince XII has returned.
[ducks trumpet]
Garfield : Thank you windbag, for that flobbering introduction. Hello, everybody!
[animals look in astonishment]
Garfield : Hey, listen up...
[flicks Winston's nose]
Garfield : is this an audience or a landscape? Okay, great to be back here at the palace. I look out, I see a sea of... of dumb barnyard animals. I'm here in your country to break up a romance between the guy who owns the house I live in and a girl who's way out of his league. I know that whatever it is that you have, there's some sort of affliction that produces this glazed look behind your eyes. I hope you defeat it. Wish I could take everybody home with me. Thank you.
[walks away]
Garfield : I killed.
Winston : Very funny, sire. Well done.
Nigel : I didn't realize it was amateur hour.
Eenie : What's up with Prince?
Christophe : Oh, he's on the catnip again.
I, Claudius : Hold on, chaps! Have I got news for you!
McBunny : What's the word, Claudius?
I, Claudius : Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard and feed us to the tourists!
Nigel : Let him try. He'll have to deal with these fists of fury first, wouldn't he?
[animals complain]
Winston : Calm yourselves, everyone. We're alright as long as Prince is alive.
McBunny : Well, obviously, that feline is not Prince, you idiots!
Preston : He's not even a cat formerly known as Prince.
[animals argue]
Winston : Wait, he doesn't have to be Prince. He just has to look like him. If he fooled me, he'll fool them.
McBunny : But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat too?
Winston : McBunny's right. We must protect this cat at all costs. Our fates rely on it.
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Garfield : Careful. That's high-quality American cardboard you're tossing around in there. Beautiful, fellas. Hang the plasma over the slip-and-slide.
Winston : Sire, a word?
Garfield : Jowls, my lad. Guess what your enlightened, all-powerful ruler has brought to the castle.
Preston : Oh, I can't wait to hear this.
Winston : Don't tell me, a Renaissance painting.
Garfield : Foosball, you know, foosball.
Winston : Fo-fo-fo-foosball?
Preston : What do you think this is, a pub?
Garfield : Just because we don't have opposable thumbs, doesn't mean we don't play bargains.
Winston : Yes sire, but I feel your life is in danger.
Garfield : Listen, Winnebago, if I may call you that. When history speaks of me, and she will, I wanna be remembered as the Party Prince.
Winston : As you wish.
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Nigel : You chaps know me, I'm no snob, right? But this cat is too much.
Preston : That is an embarrassment to our whole way of life.
Nigel : He's a disgrace to the furry race. "My pillow isn't soft enough, my TV remote won't work..."
Winston : Don't get your knickers in a twist. I know he's a pain in the neck but we just gotta keep him safe till Monday.
[ducks trumpet]
Garfield : Yeah, my loyal and fragrant subjects. Please, thank you. Briefly, I hate Mondays. I hate 'em. Therefore I decree, from this day forward, there will be no more Mondays.
Garfield : Got it? Today is Tuesday, then. Happy Tuesday, everybody.
Christophe : Yeah, I think he's lost it.
Winston : Like I said, we just gotta keep him safe till Tuesday.
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Preston : Hogwash! This cat is mocking us at every turn.
Winston : Preston, calm yourself. He's only doing what's best for us.
Preston : How much longer should we sustain this charade?
[Garfield peeks into the door]
Preston : I can't believe this cat is so stupid as to think he is actually erotic.
Winston : Well, he does. And house cat or not, we need him.
Garfield : Wha - ? House cat?
Winston : Just have a little patience.
Preston : Patience? Fine. Admit it, Winston. This buffoon couldn't groom the paws of a real king.
Garfield : Buffoon?
