User Reviews

There is one good lesson to be learned from this film -- for prospective screenwriters: if this movie got made, then any movie can be made.

Miss Carson and Miss Edwards are enjoyable to watch but the story, the characterizations and the staging of scenes would earn no better than a D minus at any respectable film school.

Viewers aged in the high single digits will have little patience for this movie.

If you're looking for something worthwhile for your kid, give them something meaningful, such as "The Ballet Shoes" or even a "Roxy Hunter."

This film is not good. At all. The best thing about this film is the two cute girls in the lead roles. I found them endearing, in spite of the film's many weaknesses. The writing is really bad and the performances of the adult actors are all too over the top and completely ineffective. The film isn't very funny or entertaining and feels longer than it is. It isn't well made and feels like it was thrown together by amateurs with a really low budget. Despite the pretty young leading ladies best efforts, this film doesn't work. 4/10 is my rating and that is me being nice because it has a couple cute kids in it.

I had recently posted a comment and someone filed an abuse complaint and had it deleted because I chose not to lie about the quality of the film. This is truly one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life and I am very sorry my family wasted our money renting it. The acting is horrendous, the French accents are by far the most fake accents I have ever heard in a film, and every now and then, the characters drop their "French" accents and speak with American ones. The quality of picture and lighting is very poor, and I'm not even sure I follow what's going on. I don't know how the people who made this could watch it and think it was suitable for the viewing public.

I'm from the community of The Woodlands, Texas, an affluent suburb about 30 miles north of Houston. As a film nerd, I was always excited to see the only "major" motion picture movie to be filmed in my town, that being The Bracelet Of Bordeaux. I remember when it came out, many of my middle school friends were talking about being in the background, or that their houses or streets could be seen in the distance. After over a decade of curiosity, I finally tracked down the only production from my hometown...and it's sadly not only a bad movie, but one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Not a single solitary aspect of this film is good. I suppose the two young child protagonists are passable, but that's about it. The production quality looks like an effortless middle school project made by two slackers, like it was filmed on a $50 Flip camera bought at Walmart. Youtube videos look better than this. The villains are over the top and completely pointless with no real motives beyond just being poorly written villains (the Italian mob teaming with generic metalhead punks? What?). The script is horrible, the jokes are cringeworthy, and everything else I haven't mentioned yet is just abysmal. On top of everything, it's just excruciatingly boring. It became a chore to watch this film after just 10 minutes. There's also a two minute long dog fart battle...I don't think I need to explain why that's a bad thing.

It becomes so bad that it stops being funny, and instead becomes a trance-inducing film coma of swirling chaos, something not even the worst shrooms could give. I mostly blame the horrendous grainy home-camera cinematography, but the terrible writing, acting, and humor all blend together to create a pool of depression, like an everflowing stream of hallucinogenic fluff.

Not to mention all the Texas stereotypes. I'm sure most northerners or foreigners don't know this, but most Texans don't wear the cliché cowboy hat and boots, especially in modern upper class community like The Woodlands, where the official community uniform might as well be Vineyard Vines or Hollister. Most Woodlanders would laugh at the sight of a cowboy hat. As you'd expect, every other male character in this film wears a giant cowboy hat and boots with spurs, spewing out cliché slang like "HOWDY Y'ALL?" and "WHAT IN TARNATION!" You'd think that, because the movie was filmed in Texas, they'd see that nobody actually dressed or talked like that. The only thing missing is a shootout at high noon and a brawl in the saloon. At least it doesn't take place in the desert.

So everything is terrible, right? Well, we still haven't discussed the worst part of the movie: the production itself. The film was made by Frank Eakin, who, according to people I've interviewed and reports I've read online, claimed to be a big Hollywood hotshot and would "make The Woodlands the next Hollywood". He claimed the film would be a massive budget fantasy film on the same scale as The Chronicles Of Narnia, and because of that, said that all extras had to pay $250 for the blessing of being in a major blockbuster. After filming wrapped, Eakin and crew fled town and gave no updates on the film for 3 years, making the town believe that they had been scammed. Finally, after 3 years of locals raging about their wasted money, the film suddenly appeared out of nowhere, not in theaters, but in local video shops. Instead of the massive scale blockbuster they were promised, they received a crappy low budget home video with terrible effects, awful jokes, and wasted community effort. On top of that, many of the kids who paid $250 to appear in the film had their scenes cut entirely and appear nowhere in the deleted scenes or extras. However, it doesn't end there. When parents went to IMDb to vent their frustrations, they found that their comments and reviews were flagged and deleted, and were replaced by several clearly fake reviews praising the film and, in particular, gloating about how amazing and talented Frank Eakin is. Go and read them for yourself and see if you think they're real or not. If this review mysteriously gets deleted, you'll know the truth.

So, what's the lesson here? Don't lie to a community about making a horrible passion project, because your film may end up being one of the worst films ever made. The Woodlands is a beautiful community with a plethora of interesting things and it deserves much better than a movie about magical farting dogs.

This movie has gotten very positive reviews in the local press and from a national critic. My expectations were high, and they were fully met. We attended the movie because it stars a cute Papillon (I have two) and kids who love mystery adventures. The story kept me engaged from start to finish and the performances were excellent.

My girl and boy loooved it. It was filled with many chuckles for both kids and parents. In order to understand the performances, you had to understand the type of humor and off-beat nature of the characters. The kids seemed to get it, as they laughed often and clapped enthusiastically at the end of the movie.

The headline of the review from a tough movie critic in today's The Villager was "The Bracelet of Bordeaux Works Like a Charm". I agree.

I think this is the first B-movie that is family oriented, but that is what it is. My 7 and 5 year-old watched it all of the way through. It's run time is 99 minutes. I found nothing objectionable in this PG rated movie. It's got an OK story, but I found the accents of Grandmere and her grand daughter hard to understand. It is now showing up on DVD around the local movie stores and you should know that while it is entertaining, there's nothing spectacular here either. The video appears to be non-film, but I could be wrong about that; as if it was shot digitally. I didn't recognize any of the actors in the film. The plot has been done many times before; dog-napping ring and there are mafia references.

Hilarious is the operative term for THE BRACELET OF BORDEAUX.

It is a fast-paced, fanciful film that offers a nudge-wink mix of slapstick, irony, and withering social satire about "Chem City," Texas. Adults and children alike laughed long and hard at the showing I attended, with nary a mean-spirited gag in sight.

The quality I liked best about BRACELET was its overarching emphasis on the importance of choosing -- and keeping -- the right kinds of friends. Although clearly aimed at kids, the film has both a sense of humor and message adults would benefit by heeding.

Thank goodness the filmmakers chose to emphasize fantasy over realism. Is anyone besides me tired of films that fail to take advantage of the nearly boundless theatricality and visual creativity the medium allows? Without giving away the plot, I can say that a form of magic, with roots in an important period of contemporary world history, plays a pivotal role in the development of the story.

Equally refreshing was the use of believable, average-looking child actors, playing characters resembling real kids. Again, is anyone besides me tired of movies that present children as tiny, physically idealized, wise-cracking adults? Speaking of wisecracks, I liked the way the film's abundant humor sprang not from one-liners or clichés, but from the wild images on the screen or the irony of the situations orchestrated by the script.

Since I knew this was an independent film shot on a shoestring, I was surprised by the quality of the production. The photography was professional, as were the sets, costumes and props. Effects were high-quality, and acting was top-rate. I give extra points to the adult actors who portrayed the marionettes behind the juvenile-delinquent puppets. Sal's role added necessary weight to the plot, while the scenes featuring him and his hapless toady added levity to the proceedings with their straight-faced absurdity.

In reading background on the film, I learned that BRACELET is the first by Frank Eakin and that it was so low-budget it was practically no-budget. The information begs the question: Has digital technology made film a truly democratic art form? The success of THE BRACELET OF BORDEAUX is enough to make believers out of the most stalwart doubters in the power of digital video technology.

I attended the premiere of The Bracelet of Bordeaux last weekend. I was totally impressed and enjoyed the movie very much. It was rewarding to see how all of the hard work put in by Frank Eakin and his community model approach to movie-making looked on the big screen. I know the cast and crew felt the same way. The characters, music, special effects and story line were great. We brought guests to see the movie as well. They were also impressed with quality of the film and actors. It was fun to see places we recognized in the movie. We all thought that it was refreshing to see a children's movie that also kept adults watching. We hope to see more Helen Hixson adventures in the future.

This was a wonderful and fun movie. It spoke completely to it's target audience. Every child in the audience, including my 8 year old raved about this film and many were heard to exclaim "that's the best movie I've ever seen." The adult actors were very well cast and show all the markings of true screen veterans. But the stars were the children and they did a great job at carrying the show. Ally Claire Carson and Kelsey Edwards both gave wonderful performances and displayed such great chemistry in their friendship.

I hope that many more people get the chance to see this delightful film. BRAVO!

Fm: Frank Eakin, Producer

Below you will find excerpts from four reviews, written by professional journalists and critics:

THE BRACELET OF BORDEAUX REVIEWS

By Greg Flakus, Voice of America

(10.26.06)

"Looking for some light, fun and engaging entertainment for the whole family? The Bracelet of Bordeaux is your ticket. This film has all the elements of a mystery drama, plus chuckles aplenty for both kids and their parents. The story revolves around the adventures of two pre-teen girls and their dogs. There are bad guys from the mafia and Punk scene, and even a nasty old neighbor lady, but the girls prevail thanks to a bit of magic and a lot of pluck. The Bracelet of Bordeaux is likely to become a family favorite for years to come."

By David Dow Bentley III, The People's Critic

(www.ThePeoplesCritic.com 10.24.06----People's Critic Archive 10.24.06)

"It is widely recognized that Hollywood is under-nourishing our nation's youth when it comes to supplying wholesome, entertaining films with general family appeal. If my recent viewing of the final cut print of THE BRACELET OF BORDEAUX is any clue, relief is on the way from Texas-based Eakin Films. The magical adventures of young Helen, her adorable dog, Rufus, and her best friend Marie, comprise an amusing and mysterious tale that is promising to captivate both young and old. Have we found the female Harry Potter? Eakin looks poised to give the folks at Disney a run for their money. Brace yourself for BRACELET fun!!! "

By Howie Doyle, Editor, That Texas Magazine (December, 2006)

"A delightful, locally produced, independent film.... The storyline has been likened to the Harry Potter series, and in fact doesn't stray far from the formula that Spielberg mined with E.T., which has spawned thousands of hours of fantastic and heartwarming cinematic entertainment in the last 25 years. And like the best of these movies, The Bracelet of Bordeaux, which runs just over an hour and a half, comes up with enough belly laughs and light drama to keep parents entertained as well."

By Gary Brown, Reviewer, The Villager (December 21, 2006)

"Considering the relatively low budget, I was most impressed with the near Disney Channel-like quality of the production. The photography, musical score, and special effects are all superb, but more importantly the movie features a great kid-friendly script with an underlying theme about friendship....The acting in the film, particularly the young performers, is quite good."

I saw this film on opening night and I'm here to say, the filmmakers did a wonderful job. Yes, they managed to put together a professional quality movie on a low budget. Yes, they got knock-out performances from a mostly amateur cast. And yes, they managed to do it all in The Woodlands, Texas, but most of all they managed to combine a compelling storyline with subject matter and comedy that the whole family can enjoy. This film features a great soundtrack and noticeably great sound. One of the greatest weaknesses of independent film is the sound. It really is what separates the men from the boys. What impressed me the most, technically, concerning The Bracelet of Bordeaux, is that it has great sound all the way through the film. You can really get lost in the story itself when there's nothing getting in the way, and with Bracelet, all you're going to hear is clarity.

In my opinion, the movie had a very good story. The kids and the adults did a marvelous job bringing it all together. The story of how to do good with what you are given, to follow the right crowd, and wear a uniform that you will be proud of. This was told in an amusing way for kids to understand and grasp, (even some of us adults need to laugh and get the message).

This movie required many kids for the scenes to be completed, i.e., the park scenes, the sprout meetings, parent meetings for the final "capture" scenes, and the "reward" scene. Every one of the actor kids and adults had to endure the heat of a Texas summer. They made acting look easy. I commend them all for being patient and "troopers" for larger scenes that took place with the Park Scenes, Sprout scenes and the Parent Meeting scenes.

Way to Go Bracelet Team, for bring such a wonderful family movie to the screen.

I watched this movie with my 8 1/2 year old daughter. We were entertained by the entire movie and both of us enjoyed it. OK, so the production quality was amateurish (not nearly as bad as, say, the "Blair Witch Project"), the story line was implausible, and the scene editing needed to be tightened up. This movie was good fun with a dose of "girl-power" and was family friendly. The two main characters (Helen and Marie) and the lead bad guy (Dirk) were compelling and definitely held the viewer's interest. The side characters such as the ice cream vendor, Texas twins, gardener lady, and bad cop, were cool and kooky and I looked forward to seeing their repeat appearances. The movie involved a bunch of girls from some group in the community and I thought that type of involvement was great. Who says you have to watch a slick $30 million dollar movie production to be entertained? This movie proves that you don't. One of my adult-oriented grade-B movie favorites is the "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", and that one had less coherency to the story line and an equally amateurish production quality, yet is now a cult classic. You should not have high expectations when viewing the "Bracelet of Bordeaux", but you may find it captivating you. If you like this movie, you might like "How to Eat Fried Worms". Both movies revolve around kids resolving issues on their own.

The Bracelet of Bordeaux is a must see! It is a great family movie for all! Lively adventure mystery the whole family can enjoy. The punks were hilarious. The sprouts enthusiastic. The dogs rip roaring. The two young sleuths and their pups were adorable. It was a heart warming story as the two sleuths set out to solve a mystery (or two) and along the way they also discover something about themselves. Superbly done! It is sure to put a smile on your face and laughter in your heart! It's great to see a film that young kids can enjoy. We need more family entertainment that all can enjoy! This one definitely hits the spot! Way to Go!!

I have anxiously awaited the release of this movie and I hoped the finished product would be as good as I expected. It actually turned out better than I imagined it would. My son also has a part in this film and unlike other people who have posted comments, my sons part did not end up on the cutting room floor. Even if it had I still would have been impressed by the quality and entertainment value of this film. The musical score fit beautifully with the action of the movie and the special effects were fun to watch.

Because my son was involved I invited several of my friends with children to attend a showing of the movie. Each and every one of them could not say enough good things about it. Those who have younger children, that find it hard to sit still for extended periods of time, said they were amazed at the rapt attention their children payed to the show. The adults also enjoyed the humor and fast paced action of the story. This is good wholesome family entertainment !! Keep up the good work!! We need more films like this. It is definitely worth your time to go see it.

My 13 year old son and I saw this movie with another 13 year old boy and his mom. We all found the movie to be very engaging and entertaining. My friend commented that it was better than many big studio children's movies. I especially enjoyed the scene where Helen is traveling through the forest to the swamp and the scenes with Grandmere. The special effects, cinematography and sound were of top-notch quality. It's hard to believe that this film was created by a first-time producer, and a crew and cast mostly made up of kids. The community model of film making has proved to be a success. We can't wait for the sequel.

I LOVED IT and thought it was a WONDERFUL FAMILY MOVIE! The message was great and delivered in a fun way! I love the fact that it was shot around town, SO NEAT!! The Grandma was adorable and so were ALL THOSE KIDDOS! A LOT OF LAUGHING, it definitely kept me entertained and curious! On my way out I overheard one of the kiddos saying "That was the funniest movie ever"! When are you going to have more pics from the movie to view? We are eager to get a copy of the DVD so we can share with family and friends. It was really nice to see a movie and not have to worry about anything being offensive. It seems that nowadays movies and cartoons out there claim to be "family" movies but the content is purely adult, BUT NOT IN THIS CASE, Bracelet of Bourdeaux really is a movie the WHOLE family can watch! Thanks!

My family and I saw this movie in Houston over Thanksgiving, while visiting my brother, the producer Frank Eakin. Frank has worked on this film full time for the last three years, and we were all impressed with the high quality of the final product. The model of a community based, yet high-quality,production may seem a stretch, especially when movies routinely cost in the millions, but the props, the filming, the editing, all are very high quality. And the children-- not only the main characters, but all of the children-- are so engaging and believable in the characterizations that The Woodlands should be proud of their concentation of talented youth! Of course, the adult actors and volunteers should get applause as well.

But what will determine the quality of any film will be the story line and the characters. As a mother and grandmother, I have watched many children's movies, and I can say that this movie draws in the audience as well as any, and better than most. The action is fast-paced, the characterizations are multi-dimensional, and the result is wholesome fun with a subtle message about friendship and courage and using power for good, all in a professional quality film.

PASS THE POPCORN: REVIEW The Bracelet of Bordeaux Yes, I Laughed Greg Wright | 14.07.09 Posted in Reviews, New on DVD, DVD Feature, DVD

Interested in a little goofy Saturday morning fun with your kids? The Bracelet of Bordeaux is goofy enough and fun enough, and it's even fairly family friendly. But it might just overstay its welcome.

Helen has just moved to Chem City, Texas with her dad Lubbock and mom Honey. Upon being greeted at the airport by mile-wide grins, civic-pride singing twins, and a longhorn- festooned Humvee, the three arrive at their new Armadillo Estates home… only to find that riverboat-mafia-backed blackmailing punks have dognapped French neighbor Marie's poodle. And stolen Honey's favorite sofa. Papa Lubbock's not into crime-fighting, so after 9-1-1 tells him to take a number, he's off to the oil wells. That leaves Honey to shop, and nerdly Wood Sprout scout Helen and new chum Marie to solve the caper.

With the help, that is, of a magic bracelet once worn by Marie's granny to help the French Resistance burn down a Nazi concentration camp.

Whew!

The comedy is broad and often funny as first-time writer Frank Eakin and first-time director Casey Kelly kind of lovingly exploit the small Texas town where the film was shot and set. Even though everything's big in Texas, Eakin and Kelly have smartly opted for the small-is- better approach to comedy, gently targeting do-gooder scouting groups, do-less-gooder petroleum manufacturers, jingle-singing twins, surly shopkeepers, and toothless stoop denizens as the subjects of their barbs. Sure, this is kid-level satire that kind of feels like Spongebob Squarepants; but it also feels like many speaking roles may have been filled by Kelly's neighbors… playing themselves. So the humor never gets mean, though it often gets kind of stupid—as with a sequence in which a doltish dog-mafia stooge feeds Tobasco to the dogs just to hear them pass gas.

Like many low-budget films, the shoot-quick-and-ask-editing-questions-later approach yields some awkward sequences and far too many close-ups without establishing shots to help audiences get oriented with the action. But I frequently found myself chuckling in spite of myself at much of the script's clever wordplay. Kelly also gets appropriately slapsticky performances every member of the cast. As decent as young Ally Claire Carson is as Helen, in fact, I oddly looked forward to what kooky surprise the next bit role had in store. Like the surprising National Anthem moment near the film's end. It's not often in low-budget films that the background action is as interesting as the foreground.

But to be honest, I ended up watching the film's second half at double speed—and don't think I missed a thing. At 99 minutes, the premise is probably stretched about 39 minutes too long for adult taste, though I imagine kids will stick with it as they munch on Cheerios and build things with Legos, or whatever it is that kids build things with these days.

The story's primary lessons, though, are a little strange. First, Marie's grandma lectures her about the dangers of being led astray by organizations that pander to children—the primary reference here being Hitler Youth, not Wood Sprout Scouts per se. But when grandma describes Hitler as the man who "turned the world upside down," I'm not sure if Eakin has confused Hitler with the Apostle Paul, or whether the film is warning children to be wary of groups like Awana, Whirly Birds, and Jet Cadets for Jesus.

Second, when Marie and Helen go behind grandma's back to employ the Magic Bracelet to break the crime ring and rescue the 'napped dogs, Marie is clearly given the message that it's okay to break rules once in a while in order to serve the greater good. It's a comforting bromide, I suppose, in a post-9-11 world; but isn't such moral relevancy a lot more suitable for adults than for children? They'll learn to compromise their ideals soon enough without encouragement like this.

Bottom line: a pretty darned decent job for a micro-budget DIY production. You probably won't regret renting this for some light weekend entertainment, at least not too much. But I doubt you'll be too eager for a repeat viewing, either.