Unaccompanied Minors (2006)
Dyllan Christopher: Spencer Davenport
Photos
Quotes
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Oliver Porter : Who trained you kids, the Navy SEALs?
Spencer Davenport : Look, sir, just... Divorce kids are more resourceful than others, that's all.
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Grace Conrad : [putting on her glasses] Once a dork, always a dork.
Spencer Davenport : You are so not a dork.
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Grace Conrad : If you guys get me sent back to that room, your dead.
Donna Malone : What are you gonna do, rich girl, have your daddy hire a hit man?
Grace Conrad : Maybe I'll just have him break your dad out of jail.
Spencer Davenport : [hiding his face behind his hand] Hmmmm...
[Grace smirks at Donna, who reacts by attacking Grace and starting a fight]
Charlie Goldfinch : Girl fight! Girl fight! Oh, my gosh, it's a girl fight!
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Katherine Davenport : [trapped at the airport] We could call Mom.
Spencer Davenport : Yeah, well, she wouldn't drive 2,000 miles to pick us up.
Katherine Davenport : Then let's call Dad.
Spencer Davenport : Oh, yeah, he wouldn't drive four *feet* to get us.
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Spencer Davenport : You're not, like, gonna be scared of him now, are you?
Katherine Davenport : Not after the night I just had.
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Grace Conrad : Where are my friends?
Spencer Davenport : Oh, man. Where's my sister?
Oliver Porter : They went where all the good little boys and girls go for Christmas. They went... somewhere nice. Where, you ask? Why, the comfortable and festive Hoover International Lodge, which is just a few thousand yards down from this delightful little room, which now smells like a horse died in it.
Charlie Goldfinch : Oh, so we're going to the Lodge?
Oliver Porter : Uh, I think I have an answer to your question. Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds? Have you looked outside lately? The roads are blocked because there's a little thing called a blizzard going on. That's when the sky opens up and lots of snow falls and makes it hard for people to do things, like fly to Hawaii, for instance.
Grace Conrad : Who's going to Hawaii?
Oliver Porter : Not me. Not anymore.
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Oliver Porter : I was just doing my job. You know that, don't you? I was just doing my job, just like I have for the last fifteen Christmases.
Spencer Davenport : Your family must hate that.
Oliver Porter : Well that's not really a problem since my wife divorced me five Christmases ago.
Spencer Davenport : Is that why you don't put up the decorations?
Oliver Porter : Let's just say they don't remind me of happy times.
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Spencer Davenport : We've got to get down to the lodge.
Donna Malone : How? You got four snowboards?
Spencer Davenport : [walks into a canoe hanging from the ceiling] Ow.
[turns around]
Spencer Davenport : Ever watch the Winter Olympics?
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Oliver Porter : [chasing the kids downhill in a kayak] Please tell me you're gonna stop at the hotel.
Spencer Davenport : Yeah, we are, but you're not! Hit the brakes!
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Katherine Davenport : I don't WANNA see Santa!
Spencer Davenport : You know what? Then let's just go, okay?
Katherine Davenport : I don't wanna go!
Spencer Davenport : Then, get on Santa's lap!
Katherine Davenport : [screaming] I DON'T WANNA!
Santa at Mall : Ho, ho, ho! Somebody's not being a very good girl. I might have to put coal in your stocking this year!
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Spencer Davenport : I would like a table for one in the no-little-sisters section, please.
Restaurant Hostess : Aren't you a little young to be flying by yourself?
Spencer Davenport : Not at all.
Spencer Davenport : [as Hostess reaches for a menu] No. No kids' menu.
Spencer Davenport : [as Hostess reaches for...] No, no-no-no. No crayons either
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Spencer Davenport : Nachos. Oh, my mom never lets me eat those, you know? So, an order of those. She's banned all sodas from the house, so extra, extra, extra-large root beer.
Restaurant Hostess : My mom never let me eat mozzarella sticks.
Spencer Davenport : Mine either. Two orders. On to dessert, huh?
Restaurant Hostess : You don't have a tapeworm, do you?