- Officer Tom Hanson: [in a thick Kentucky accent] Hey! Did you steal that earring from your Momma, little buddy?
- Officer Doug Penhall: Why would I want to do that if your Mother gives them to me for free?
- [first lines]
- Denny Mason: And everyone's waiting two hours to find out why this kid killed his babysitter, right?
- Cadet Rick Adderly: I'm afraid what happened to you's gonna happen to me!
- Woody Adderly: It's not hereditary, Rick.
- Officer Harry Truman Ioki: [going in as a gay decoy] What should I wear?
- Captain Adam Fuller: What you have on.
- Officer Judy Hoffs: Ioki, gays don't have their own separate dress code.
- Commandant Max McGee: [reading Hanson/Harrison's file] Fighting, disrespect of superior officers...
- Officer Tom Hanson: [as Sgt. Harrison] It was a confusing time of my life, Sir.
- Commandant Max McGee: It was last month, Harrison