- Tommy Solomon: Harry, get me the laptop, the modem, the magnetic strip key that got us into this room - and a shower cap.
- George Takei: [after Harry questions him about scientific inaccuracies in "Star Trek"] Beam down that guy a life!
- Tommy Solomon: [Riffling through the itemized hotel bill] It looks like a list of everything we've gotten from room service: lobster... lobster... lobster... lobster...
- Sally Solomon: What's that number at the bottom?
- Tommy Solomon: It must the population of Cleveland, or something.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Isn't it amazing how these people fulfill themselves through fantasy? It's like those guys who spend their lives reading those fake letters to Penthouse!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: They're fake?