The Addams Family (TV Series)

Crisis in the Addams Family (1965)

Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gomez Addams : All right, you lily-livered goldbrick, are you gonna lie sniveling on that nice, warm bed of nails or are you gonna get up and fight like an Addams?

  Uncle Fester : Well, if it's all the same with you, I'd rather lie here and snivel.

  Gomez Addams : When a pilot crashes, what does he do? He gets right back into that crate and up into the wild, blue yonder again. And when a lion tamer gets ripped up, does he snivel? Does he quit? Not always.

• Uncle Fester : I held the same job for 37 years.

  Horace Beesley : Selling?

  Uncle Fester : No, public relations! Yeah, my father paid me to keep out of public. Of course, when he died, I retired.

• Uncle Fester : [back from his first day as an insurance salesman]  I tried. I knocked on every door in my territory. I was dynamic. I was personable, charming, and magnetic but it wasn't any use. Oh, my career is ruined. I'm all washed up.

  [Fester plods off to his room] 

  Gomez Addams : I have a feeling all's not well with Fester.

  Morticia Addams : It's hard to tell. He puts up such a brave front.

• Uncle Fester : Well, here I am!

  [adressing Horace Beesley, Arthur J. Henson, Morticia and Gomez] 

  Uncle Fester : Hello H.B., A.J., M.A., G.A.