The Addams Family (TV Series)

Crisis in the Addams Family (1965)

John Astin: Gomez Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gomez Addams : All right, you lily-livered goldbrick, are you gonna lie sniveling on that nice, warm bed of nails or are you gonna get up and fight like an Addams?

  Uncle Fester : Well, if it's all the same with you, I'd rather lie here and snivel.

  Gomez Addams : When a pilot crashes, what does he do? He gets right back into that crate and up into the wild, blue yonder again. And when a lion tamer gets ripped up, does he snivel? Does he quit? Not always.

• Arthur J. Henson : [on the phone]  Excelso? Henson. Put me on the hot line - this is a red alert. Hello, chief? I want to report a big swindle. Two million dollars. Addams, Gomez. That's right, two D's. H-how did you know? He is? He does? We do? You are? I am? I see.

  [Henson sadly passes the phone to Gomez] 

  Gomez Addams : Addams here. I do? I am? I can? I will.

• Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, I regret to tell you that we're going to have to punish you. You've been spending altogether too much money.

  Gomez Addams : Fester, you won't see another penny of your allowance until 1986.

• Arthur J. Henson : Now get this through your thick head, Addams: We're not paying you one more cent, and that is final!

  Gomez Addams : Come come, Henson, you don't really expect me to jump at your first offer.

• Gomez Addams : Well, that was a letdown. I merely stated my position with impeccable logic and the poor devil caved in.

• Uncle Fester : [back from his first day as an insurance salesman]  I tried. I knocked on every door in my territory. I was dynamic. I was personable, charming, and magnetic but it wasn't any use. Oh, my career is ruined. I'm all washed up.

  [Fester plods off to his room] 

  Gomez Addams : I have a feeling all's not well with Fester.

  Morticia Addams : It's hard to tell. He puts up such a brave front.

• Gomez Addams : You say "cancel the policy?" But why?

  Arthur J. Henson : Well, because the policy doesn't make sense. Things like this: double indemnity for flogging by a carnivorous plant, gunpowder burns, being bitten by an enraged rug.

  Gomez Addams : Ha-ha! Good old Fester. He gave me complete coverage.

• Morticia Addams : Darling, I think you made the right decision.

  Gomez Addams : The best since I put Winthrope in charge of Addams Motors. Remember? Took a failing company and in three months ran it into bankruptcy.

  Morticia Addams : [flatteringly]  Dear, you could have done it in one month.

• Gomez Addams : Ahoy, my beloved, time for another great moment in Addams history.

  Morticia Addams : Will it take long, darling? I want to have these traps ready by tonight.

  Gomez Addams : Only a moment, cherie, but... what a moment!