The Addams Family (TV Series)
Lurch's Little Helper (1966)
John Astin: Gomez Addams
Photos
Quotes
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Gomez Addams : [building a robot] Wrench!
Uncle Fester : [assisting him] Wrench!
Gomez Addams : Pliers!
Uncle Fester : Pliers!
Gomez Addams : Screwdriver!
Uncle Fester : Screwdriver!
[he gives him a Screwdriver cocktail]
Gomez Addams : [drinks] Delicious!
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Gomez Addams : [grabbing and kissing Morticia's arm] Tish, that French! Speak some more. Au revoir. Avant-garde. Ooh la la.
Morticia Addams : Darling, Lurch now; ooh la la later.
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Gomez Addams : I've been yanking on this bell for twenty minutes. Why doesn't Lurch answer?
Uncle Fester : Want me to go up to his room and see if he's dead or somethin'?
Morticia Addams : If he's resting we shouldn't want to disturb him, and if he's dead there's no point to it.
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Morticia Addams : I'm a little worried about Lurch, though, darling.
Gomez Addams : [still recuperating from playing samurai with Lurch] You think I overdid it this time, took too much out of him?
Morticia Addams : No, but I do think we're overworking the poor dear.
Gomez Addams : We just work him day and night. All the rest of the time's his own.
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Morticia Addams : Ah, dear Lurch. He's so pleased with his new helper.
Gomez Addams : Always was a warm, friendly, sort.
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Gomez Addams : Nobody does a back-scratch like Lurch.
Morticia Addams : It's those talons of his.
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Gomez Addams : [admiring Morticia's flower stems] You were born with a green thumb.
Morticia Addams : [looking at her thumb] Really? Must have been very attractive.
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Morticia Addams : [bowing to Gomez who has come bounding into the living room wielding a samurai sword] Gong ho, my lord and master.
Gomez Addams : [likewise bowing] Yasho, me shukiyaki.
Morticia Addams : Samurai time again, darling?
Gomez Addams : Yes, but it won't be much fun without Lurch. Then, he has to get his rest. I'll teach Smiley. Smiley!
Smiley : [enters] You - rang?
Gomez Addams : No, Smiley, I called. I'm going to make an ancient Japanese warrior out of you, Smiley. First thing I want you to do...
Lurch : [interrupting as he enters] Nooooooooooooo!
Lurch : [to Smiley] Follow me.
Morticia Addams : [after Lurch and Smiley exit] Isn't that sweet! I don't think Lurch is jealous of Smiley anymore. He probably wants to play with him.
Gomez Addams : Well, this house always has bred peace and harmony.
[loud commotion offstage; Lurch re-enters alone]
Gomez Addams : What was that noise all about?
Morticia Addams : And where is Smiley?
Lurch : [holds up large wrench] Resigned.
Lurch : [puts down wrench, picks up samurai sword, faces Gomez] Banzai!
Gomez Addams : [delighted] Banzai!
[Gomez leaps into action, yelling in Japanese]
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Gomez Addams : Can you imagine a roast aardvark without an apple in its mouth. It's like... it's like, uh... a martini without the egg.
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Morticia Addams : I just peeked into the kitchen and saw Smiley washing the dishes for Lurch.
Gomez Addams : Splendid. I hope his hands don't rust.