The Addams Family (TV Series)

Morticia's Favorite Charity (1965)

Carolyn Jones: Morticia Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Uncle Fester : Oh, not my suit of armor please, I need it to feel secure. Like Pugsley needs his wolf-head clock. That armor's the... only place I can find to hide in, to take my afternoon's nap.

  Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, the whole family has given until it hurts.

  Uncle Fester : Well, I like to hurt as much as anybody, but don't ask me to give my armor up. I have to wear it practically every day to scare off those neighborhood kids.

  Morticia Addams : They annoy you?

  Uncle Fester : Oh not me, but... they keep waving sticks and throwing stones at my new pet falcon. And he's getting a nervous stomach.

• Gomez Addams : Morticia, let's forget the bazaar. They haven't even asked us to donate this year anyway.

  Morticia Addams : Yes, and I can't understand that. Our old insurance man, Mr. Henson, is in charge this year, and he's been to our home. He knows what lovely things we have.

  Gomez Addams : Behaved very strangely the last time he was here. Perhaps he's one of those people with no taste.

  Morticia Addams : Last year they auctioned off my stuffed vulture for thirty-five cents.

  Gomez Addams : Your live one would've gotten much more.

• Morticia Addams : [feeding her plant]  Here you are, Cleopatra, some nice, fresh walrus burger.

• Morticia Addams : [to Gomez, as Pugsley hides up the chimney]  Darling, this may be a traumatic experience for him. Perhaps we'd better try and get the clock back.

  Gomez Addams : Nonsense. Some of the finest men in the Addams family have been shaped by childhood traumas.

• Morticia Addams : [entering the basement]  Oh, I love coming down to this old room - such charming mustiness.

  Gomez Addams : In many ways the most attractive room in the house.

• Wednesday Addams : [holding up her headless doll]  I'm donating Mary Queen of Scot.

  Morticia Addams : Darling, that is your most precious possession.

  Wednesday Addams : I can chop a head off another doll.

  Morticia Addams : I know, but all the heads don't come off as nicely as this one. Are you sure you want to donate Mary?

  Wednesday Addams : Yes, but I'll never be able to look her head in the eye again.

• [after a mix-up at the charity auction, Lurch returns to the Addams mansion with Pugsley's wolf-headed clock] 

  Morticia Addams : And how in the world did you ever get it away from Mr. Clayton?

  Gomez Addams : Did he sell it back to you?

  Lurch : Gave me five dollars to take it.