The Addams Family (TV Series)

Morticia, the Writer (1965)

Carolyn Jones: Morticia Addams

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Quotes 

• Morticia Addams : Imagine, poisoning a child's mind with all this terrible literature.

  Gomez Addams : Children, have you protested?

  Pugsley Addams : Sure. We told Miss Doubleday that us Addamses like giants, goblins and witches.

  Wednesday Addams : But she just muttered something about nuts.

• Morticia Addams : My first story: Cinderella, the Teenage Delinquent.

  Gomez Addams : Cinderella - ho ho! - my blood boils at the thought of that little minx.

• Morticia Addams : [reading from her first finished work]  "As the clock struck twelve, the police, summoned by the kindly step-mother, found Cinderella cowering in the ashes with the stolen glass slipper and yanked her off to the pokey."

• Morticia Addams : All work and no play gets books done.

• Morticia Addams : Darling, will you please proofread that and send it off to a publisher?

  Gomez Addams : Which one?

  Morticia Addams : Uh, try Demon Press. They sound just perfect for children's books.

• Gomez Addams : Genius often goes unrecogniezed. After all, Dostoyevsky wasn't discovered until he was 56.

  Morticia Addams : Well, no wonder. With a name like that, the reviewers probably couldn't even spell it.

• Morticia Addams : What was the name of that mean little girl who was so beastly to those three lovely bears?

  Lurch : Goldilocks.

  Morticia Addams : Ah, yes, Goldilocks. Trust a blonde to bring on trouble. Well, when I get through with Miss Goldilocks, her books will be banned from coast to coast.

  Lurch : Ugggh.

• Pugsley Addams : Look at these books they gave us to read in school: "A Treasury of Mean Witches, Evil Giants, Wicked Goblins & Other Bedtime Stories by Moricia Addams."

  Wednesday Addams : Mother, how could you? Yuch!

  Gomez Addams : Children, please, watch your language. Besides, your mother didn't write those. I did.

  Morticia Addams : Gomez, you?

  Gomez Addams : Children, please go play with your spiders. Cara, much as it hurt to rewrite those glorious phrases of yours, I... I had to do it.

  Morticia Addams : And I know why.

  Gomez Addams : You do?

  Morticia Addams : You wanted to prove that the only thing that publishers will print today is junk.