The Addams Family (TV Series)
Portrait of Gomez (1965)
Carolyn Jones: Morticia Addams
Photos
Quotes
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[the family enjoys some front yard moonbathing]
Morticia Addams : Gomez, darling, do be careful. You know how prone you are to moonburn.
Gomez Addams : Never fear, Querida. My skin is so white it won't peel anymore.
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Morticia Addams : This is the bitterest blow since the city made us fill in our lovely patch of quicksand.
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[Morticia gives Gomez a driving lesson]
Morticia Addams : Now, darling, listen: You're going through a school zone.
Gomez Addams : School zone.
Morticia Addams : Your speedometer is registering seventy-five miles an hour.
Gomez Addams : Seventy-five per.
Morticia Addams : What are you doing wrong?
Gomez Addams : Blocking traffic?
Morticia Addams : Think, darling. Think!
Gomez Addams : Of course! I'm not waving to the little nippers as I drive by. "Hi ya, kids! How are ya!"
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Morticia Addams : [reporting on Gomez] He's taking his written test.
Uncle Fester : Good. Then he'll never get to the driver's test.
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Gomez Addams : [to the Strife photographer] Strife Magazine has been one of our favorites.
Morticia Addams : We simply devour it from cover to cover.
Uncle Fester Frump : Aw, it's delicious.
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Morticia Addams : Darling... I've hired a private detective to find your favorite photographer... just haven't heard from him yet.
Uncle Fester : Well maybe you you oughta hire a private detective to find the private detective you hired?
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Morticia Addams : I'll have Lurch lay out your best suit.
Gomez Addams : Querida! This is my best suit.
Morticia Addams : Oh?
Gomez Addams : Don't you remember? I bought dozens of them. I've worn nothing but best suits.
Morticia Addams : Of course, dear.
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Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, how 'bout you? Would you like another little dab of lanolin?
Uncle Fester : Ah, no, thanks. I like it but it gives me heartburn.
Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, the last time we moonbathed you ate the goose grease, this time the lanolin.
Uncle Fester : Well, what'd you expect me to do with it, smear it all over my face?
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Morticia Addams : You were such a distinguished little baby, with such a distinguished little mustache.
Gomez Addams : Yes. Saved Mama the trouble of straining the baby food.
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[the search for Gomez's favorite photographer ends]
Morticia Addams : He now works for the Department of Motor Vehicles. He takes the pictures they use on the driver's licenses.
Gomez Addams : What a proud thing it is to live in a state with such high aesthetic requirements.
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[Gomez has never been able to drive]
Gomez Addams : True, but there's very little I don't know about the modern horseless carriage.
Uncle Fester : Except how to shift gears.
Morticia Addams : And steer.
Uncle Fester : Yeah, and, uh, put on the breaks.
Gomez Addams : Well, those things do give me a little trouble.
Uncle Fester : A little trouble! Remember the Blue Falconberg we had?
Gomez Addams : Heh-heh, Big Blue! Ho-ho, nothing could stop that car. Scorching desert. Snow-covered mountains. She could go anywhere!
Morticia Addams : Except between two streetcars.