The Addams Family (TV Series)

Progress and the Addams Family (1965)

John Astin: Gomez Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morticia Addams : [referring to Uncle Fester]  I do hope he doesn't blow himself up.

  Gomez Addams : I hope not, he's wearing my best socks. But, que sera, sera.

• Grandmama : Well, they said it couldn't be done, but I did it!

  Gomez Addams : Did what, Mama?

  Grandmama : Invented artificial thunder.

• Morticia Addams : Thing. Were's Thing?

  Gomez Addams : Up in the mover's truck.

  Morticia Addams : In the mover's truck?

  Gomez Addams : In the glove compartment.

  Morticia Addams : Ah... dear, sensible Thing.

• Morticia Addams : Gomez, did you hear an explosion a moment ago?

  Gomez Addams : Oh, that. Probably Uncle Fester down in the basement testing for gas leaks with a lighted match.

• Gomez Addams : Fester, this man may be a trespasser and a saboteur but he is our guest.

• Gomez Addams : Well, you can't win 'em all. They're blasting tomorrow whether we're in the house or not.

  Morticia Addams : Oh, dear. And we're such late sleepers.

• [Fester suggests they move their house] 

  Gomez Addams : I know just the spot. That lot Hornsby has up for sale.

  Morticia Addams : That's right next door to the Commissioner's house.

  Gomez Addams : My dear, at a time like this we can't afford to be choosy.

  Uncle Fester : Oh, it's... it's not that, but... That lot doesn't have any caves, and then no quicksand, no swamp...

  Gomez Addams : Fester... What's a swamp? A bunch of mud, slime and stench. We'll build our own!

• Mr. Henson : Uh, well, Addams, I-I must say you're taking this eviction like a good sport.

  Gomez Addams : Well, nobody can say that an Addams stood in the way of progress, although I must admit Uncle Fester is a bit upset.

  Morticia Addams : Yes, you see, there are no caves or swamps on our new property.

  Gomez Addams : But we do have plans for building our own - that is, if our neighbors don't object.

  Mr. Henson : Well, any man who would object to having a swamp right next to his home is a petty individual, indeed.

  Gomez Addams : Glad to hear you say that, Commissioner. We love animals and we're planning a mud wallow for our hippopotamus.

  Phoebe Henson : Arthur and I just adore animals, too.

  Gomez Addams : [warmly and vigorously shakes Henson's hand]  Neighbor!

  Mr. Henson : No, no... d'I... I mean, you're not gonna move in next to... to... t...

  Phoebe Henson : To us?

  Gomez Addams : Right smack!

  [the Henson's, with apparently nothing to lose, hurriedly guzzle down their cups of silverware-dissolving wolfsbane tea] 

• [the Addams family prepares to ride along with the mansion on its move to a new location] 

  Morticia Addams : Where are the children, dear?

  Gomez Addams : Oh, they're fine. They're riding on the roof.

  Morticia Addams : I do hope they don't get car sick. Is Lurch with them?

  Gomez Addams : Oh, no. He likes to ride with his head out the window and growl at the passing cars.

• Uncle Fester : That ex-insurance man of ours...

  Gomez Addams : Commissioner Henson?

  Uncle Fester : Yeah. Well, he's ruining our city. He's puttin' fresh paint on all the public buildings.

  Morticia Addams : Whatever for?

  Uncle Fester : To hide the soot.

  Morticia Addams : Cover up... But the soot's the only thing that's giving those buildings character.

• [a letter arrives] 

  Morticia Addams : Oh, it's from the city hall. I wonder what they're doing writing to us.

  Gomez Addams : Well, this is the time they select the Man of the Year. I suppose I'll have to resign myself to another giddy round of speech-making and chicken ala king.

• Gomez Addams : Ah, that Thing! Always on his toes.

• Gomez Addams : [dictating a letter]  ... and, despite your position as commissioner, I hereby warn you that any further trespass by your hired vandals will be resisted to the utmost.

• Gomez Addams : [finishing his letter]  P.S. I always knew you were a corrupt, hypocritical old windbag.

  Morticia Addams : I do hope he doesn't take that last part personally.

  Gomez Addams : How could he?

  Lurch : [announcing from the vestibule]  His honor, the Commissioner.

  Morticia Addams : I'm sure he's come to offer his apologies.

  Gomez Addams : I guess the hypocritical old windbag isn't such a bad fellow after all.