The Addams Family (TV Series)
The Addams Family Splurges (1965)
Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester
Photos
Quotes
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Gomez Addams : We could go to the play room and find out to the penny. All we have to do is consult the computer that Pugsley and I built.
Uncle Fester : Yeah, Whizzo knows everything. Even told me how to cure my baldness.
Morticia Addams : Is it working?
Uncle Fester : No, but it cured my cough.
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Ralph J. Hulen : Nobody could even begin to pick that many winners.
Uncle Fester : Whizzo could!
Gomez Addams : Why of course! Whizzo! Why, he could do it with 20 Watts tied behind his back.
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Gomez Addams : Since gambling bets aren't enforceable by law...
Uncle Fester : Never mind about that, I'd shoot him in the back!
Morticia Addams : Wouldn't that be rather drastic?
Gomez Addams : For betrayal of trust? Violation of professional ethics? Shooting him in the back would be too good for him.
Uncle Fester : No, I think it'd be about right...
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Uncle Fester : What's he saying?
Morticia Addams : Whizzo only knows, dear.
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Ralph J. Hulen : Where's the old Addams spirit?
Uncle Fester : Right in your safe, with that eight million!
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Uncle Fester : [looking at the newspaper] Hey, did you know Little Orphan Annie's got no eyeballs?
Morticia Addams : That's part of her charm.
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Uncle Fester : Hm! There must be some way to pick up that kind of money.
Gomez Addams : I've got it! We'll invent something that costs a dime to make, sells for a dollar and is habit-forming.
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Ralph J. Hulen : Will you please forget this moon business? I tell you it's impractical, imprudent and absolutely impossible.
Uncle Fester : Mr. Hulen, are you trying to discourage us?
Ralph J. Hulen : I certainly am!
Uncle Fester : Don't beat around the bush! Just answer yes or no!
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Ralph J. Hulen : Let's suppose - this is a hypothetical case, of course - but let's suppose that your investment councilor hadn't placed any bets.
Uncle Fester : Hadn't placed any bets? Where's my gun? I'd shoot him in the back!
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Uncle Fester : We need some new fish for our aquarium. Ours ate each other up.