- Mr. Digby: Oh, it must have been a dream, I thought I was in the electric chair.
- Morticia Addams: The chair isn't electric, but Uncle Fester is.
- Uncle Fester: Yeah, I'm really hot today!
- Gomez Addams: Well, speak up, old man, you have our bear, haven't you?
- Mr. Digby: Well yes, and no.
- Morticia Addams: I like a man who comes right to the point.
- Mr. Digby: Mr. Addams, we simply can't find a bear that big.
- Gomez Addams: That's absurd, there are thousands of them running all over Alaska!
- Morticia Addams: [as Fester aims to light Gomez's cigar with a flame-thrower] Uncle Fester, you have nerves of steel.
- Gomez Addams: Now if only his hands would stop shaking.
- Mr. Joe Digby: [looking at a pile of ashes] I don't want to quibble but how do I know that was a bear?
- Morticia Addams: Well, let's use simple logic. Does it look like an antelope?
- Mr. Joe Digby: No.
- Morticia Addams: A zebra?
- Mr. Joe Digby: No.
- Morticia Addams: A giraffe?
- Mr. Joe Digby: No.
- [later]
- Morticia Addams: An elephant?
- Mr. Joe Digby: No.
- Morticia Addams: A tiger?
- [much later]
- Mr. Joe Digby: No.
- Morticia Addams: A camel?
- Mr. Joe Digby: No.
- Morticia Addams: A gorilla?
- Mr. Joe Digby: Well, uh... No! No!
- Morticia Addams: Well, then it must be a bear.
- Gomez Addams: Querida, with your incisive mind you should be on the supreme court.
- Morticia Addams: [considering it] I do love those black robes.
- Gomez Addams: We don't want money. What we want is another bear.
- Morticia Addams: What else could possibly go with our decor?
- Mr. Joe Digby: The bear may be a little hard to come by. How about a lion?
- Morticia Addams: We already have one.
- Mr. Joe Digby: Stuffed?
- Morticia Addams: Well, he is after he's had his dinner.
- Mr. Henson: If we gave people everything they want, we would soon be out of business. Digby, there are two ends to running the insurance game: taking the money in and refusing to pay it out.