The Addams Family (TV Series)
Uncle Fester's Toupee (1965)
Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester
Photos
Quotes
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Uncle Fester : [about his pen pal] She's coming here to visit me.
Morticia Addams : Marvelous. We'll have the guest room unbolted.
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Morticia Addams : [pointing to a portrait] Now, who is that?
Uncle Fester : Well, that's General Ulysses S. Addams.
Gomez Addams : And what did he do at Vicksburg?
Uncle Fester : He surrendered!
Gomez Addams : Not till they caught up with him!
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Madelyn Smith : Get lost, you electrical tree-sitting newt!
Uncle Fester : Did I do something wrong?
Madelyn Smith : You got born, baldy!
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Uncle Fester : Hm. I told you it wouldn't work.
Morticia Addams : It's just as well, Uncle Fester. A woman who doesn't know how to make a man happy certainly wouldn't make a good wife.
Gomez Addams : Besides, her French was atrocious.
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Uncle Fester : Hey, you know, you're right. I shouldn't let a girl frighten me.
Gomez Addams : Not until you're married.
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Madelyn Smith : This is the cutest house.
Uncle Fester : Oh, we do our best to cute it up.
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Uncle Fester : Madelyn, when you speak French, you make my blood boil. Speak some more! Hasta la vista... skoll... gesuntheid... anything!
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Madelyn Smith : Oh, I can't wait to become Mrs... what is your last name, anyway?
Uncle Fester : You know, you're the first one that ever asked that.
Madelyn Smith : Never mind, never mind, we'll leave it Smith. That way, we won't have to change the monograms on the towels.
Uncle Fester : Oh, goody!